Ivf fail in The ugly truth about making babies
- Oct. 29, 2017, 6:21 a.m.
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- Public
Sadly it seems like our first transfer has been a fail. Official test day isn’t until Wednesday (it’s a late day to test). The tests we’ve done so far have been negative, not even a glimmer, and I’ve started bleeding.
Obviously Friday, when we tested, I spent the whole day crying. Today I’m sad that this embryo didn’t stick around but incredibly thankful that we have 3 high grade frozen embryos on ice for when we’re able to do another transfer.
I’m thankful that my body will have a chance to rest and heal from all the invasion it’s suffered over the last 2 months. I’m thankful that my hormones will have a chance to return to some kind of normal. I’m thankful I can have a glass of wine and enjoy myself without every second being about trying to have a baby.
Ivf is the only way we can have a baby and that’s fine. It’s a million times harder, emotionally and physically, than I ever considered it would be. It’s pushed me to the edge emotionally, I’ve spent weeks feeling quite unlike myself and being horrible to people, knowing I’m doing it but being unable to stop. I’ve injected myself more times than I can count. Life has been taken over by it. And I’m comforted that having the frozen embryos means I don’t have to go through all that again quite so soon. A frozen transfer is way less intense and invasive.
All that said, if we had no frozen embryos and doing the down reg/stims/egg retrieval cycle was our only option, I would hands down do it all over again if it meant we could start our family.
Xx
*moonglow* ⋅ October 29, 2017
big hugs xxx
loved-one- ⋅ October 29, 2017
Keep going, your future child is going to be so lucky to know how badly they were wanted, no matter how or when they were conceived xx
BlueEyes418 ⋅ October 29, 2017
(hugs)
lessoff ⋅ October 29, 2017
hugs
Camdengirl ⋅ October 29, 2017
I was thinking of you the other day actually wondering how things were... Maybe a break is a good thing and to try afresh?
Glitter and Trauma Camdengirl ⋅ October 29, 2017
I’m so ready for a bit of time for my body to heal, I took my first tablet on 9/9 and official test day is 1/11 so it’s been two months of hormones and injections and then surgery to retrieve eggs, I’m not sure my body was particularly hospitable to receive an embryo just 5 days after that so I think some time off is actually a good idea. I’m not sure how quickly we’d be able to do a frozen transfer but I have a feeling our doctor might plan for in the new year which is a good few weeks to let my hair down and try to find myself again xx
Camdengirl Glitter and Trauma ⋅ October 29, 2017
That's a good idea - your poor body has been through a lot!
TrippyNina ⋅ October 29, 2017
Hugs
The Tranquil Loon ⋅ November 02, 2017
The future child/children are lucky to have an awesome mom ! You are wonderfully strong and capable!