September 29th, 2012 in "Waiting for my Petrichor"

So for awhile now, my goal weight has been 120. In Washington I was closest to it when I weighed myself at 110 pounds. I looked healthy. I felt okay about it, and was eager to gain at least ten more pounds. I have not weighed myself since, but roughly estimated I was around 105.

I went to the doctors yesterday and found out I was at 99! That is disgusting. I don't know how it happened. Okay, I guess when I look at it logically, I do. I work a lot. I lose many calories during the day and I don't replace them. It makes sense why my body constantly aches and cracks. I am obviously not getting the nutrients I need. So my doctor suggested writing down what I eat during the day in a journal. I am really trying to have at least 2 meals a day now, even if it is just a light lunch. I know all summer I wouldn't eat anything until around 2, then I'd have a light snack and by 9 at night I'd have an actual meal. It wasn't because I was purposely avoiding food, I was just busy at work and didn't have an appetite for anything.

I didn't think I could lose 10 pounds just like that though. I constantly hear people complain about how hard it is to lose weight. I have always had the opposite problem. I hate when people tell me how skinny I look. Tell me to eat something. Look, I know. I know. I am going to try to make a conscious effort to do so now. I see my doctor in one month for a check-up and I hope to have gained some weight by then. She drew some blood to check if I am anemic or have any sort of food allergy or other problems. I also officially picked up my prescription for birth control!! If anything can make me gain weight, it is being on that! I was always my highest weight when I was on BC. Also, I need to cut down on the caffeine and cigarettes. They obviously are not helping me with my appetite/weight issues.