Someday you both will look back on these days and wish you both had made better use of them. You are only young once and time passes so quickly. All these issues don't really matter in the big scheme of things . You need to find a job you feel positive about and she needs a purpose in life. Those are the real obstacles preventing both of you from. being happy . If you keep enabling her and only complaining about her , nothing is going to change. Concentrate on doing what it takes to get yourself in order and let her fend for herself. It's not being unkind, it's making her grow up and address having a life .