Tonight is V's party, which they dubbed A Mid-Summer's Night Dream, LOL. I was cracking up when I read the FB event page they made for it. Seriously -everyone- is going! It is going to be madness. Things with Jon and I are still weird. I do not know what is going on, but things are clearly awkward all of a sudden.
I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but if a certain amount of time has passed between the last time things got steamy, it's suddenly like a constant question, Is this over? Are we going to hook up again? Does he feel like things have gotten awkward or is it just me? Not like I can ask him those questions because I have to act like I am not questioning anything and hope things stop feeling awkward. Speaking of awkward. I worked a function last night and he came in from the half-way house. I wasn't going to be the first to talk to him and I was busy anyway. I grabbed the liquor key and he was like "Uh hi?" And I was like "Oh..hey what's up!?" He put out his arms to give me a hug, I gave him one and he pulled back saying "What was that?" I was like "Um, a hug..." And he was like "That was not a hug..." I just laughed it off and walked away, but really I wanted to push him up against the wall and give him much more than a weak ass hug. He probably doesn't realize this though. He probably thinks I am done with him and moving on to the next thing. But I'm not! And I don't know how to talk about it with him without looking completely weird/desperate. AH. You know how bad I wish I didn't care!? How bad I wish I really felt the way I acted like I felt? I think I keep telling myself, if I just keep acting like I couldn't care less and was over it, maybe I will be and it won't hurt so bad when things really do end between us, whatever it is we have.
So I come home from work last night and notice that Jon, who was very adamant about going to V's party, now had his RSVP to the event saying Maybe. Blah! Whatever. Nick is definitely going. I wanted to get a ride with Louis, but when I texted to ask him, he asked what time the party was. I told him and was waiting for his response to whether or not he could pick me up and he never texted me back. Soooo, I am just going to have Dave drop me off when he gets out of class!
I am telling myself right now I cannot over-drink myself into a stupor. I have to behave. I can't make an idiot out of myself. Everyone is going to be there, even Kellie, who is Rena's best friends daughter. So I definitely have to be a good little wifey and stay out of trouble, but a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone.
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