Sometimes I literally feel so fucking nuts. I don't know what is wrong with me. I want to pop some xanax and down it with alcohol. OH WAIT I just did. And now I am going to be going to the bar and getting shit faced. A few jaegar bombs should do it? Did I spell JAEGAR right? Remember that time MATT took KYLE JOHNSONS car and we went to look out point DOWNING that shit. WTF he was only and I was like 17. ANd we were just sitting in that car drinking straight booze as if waiting for a cop to fuck us up. That fucking dude. And now where is he? No one knows. I sure as fuck dont. And I couldn't even LOOK at that booze for years. Now im like fuck it, if i want to drink it I will okay? I dont care anymore. Seriously.
I just get BORED okay? Sue me. Am I supposed to be some domesticated house wife just because Im getting marreid? I dont fucking think so. When I think abotu SHIT getting OLD fast in MA. When I think I've had enough. ANd I am escaping at SCHOOL and that isnt enough and a break comes and Im like GET ME OUT OF HERE. You know waht? I am fucking going back to WA and I am staying with Andrea and everyone will know that but guess what Im going to be in quilcene too and whatever secret second life starts from that FUCK IT? I'll do what I WANT? I don't know. My thumb is mad twitching righ tnow. its not that im not okay its just sometimes i feel this way and I get out of it by taking things and drinking shit and mixing so I can feel calm and not wanting to break a fucking window open or scream or cry or woah is me? Whoa? Woe! There we go. fuck. Im listenign to this fucking 90s dance music right now. Bout to hit up at a PUB in nisqually. I AM SO GLAD i DONT Have to go to work until like thursday night. Fucking two days off toJUST DO whatever and not care about SHIT and pretend i dont exactly exist. Everyone needs to do thi SOMETIMES like every once in awhile. And jiust RELAX DUDE im ok its normal and im not like falling off the edge. Im here. I am exisitn gbut in a different way than I have to EVERY DAY just because you know what WORK FUCKING gets to me. And the same this eery day? yeaht that does too. ok bye
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