Heroes

I can't pick just one!

1) Albert Camus

Ok I first heard about him my senior year of high school back in 05/06. But I was such a little rebel back then I didn't pay attention to how truly important this man was. I re-discovered him in college and re-read the Stranger. I had tears in my eyes throughout reading this short novel. I could not believe how much I could relate to the whole existentialism. I felt like for the first time in my life, I could put a description on what I had been feeling for years. I finally realize that what my way of thinking was actually an entire philosophy. Yes, I understand Camus never wanted to label himself as an existentialist, but I believe it to be true. I believe Nietzsche was a nihilist and that he thought life had no meaning. But with Camus, I believe he was an existentialist because life has no meaning until you give it one. After discovering this beautiful man's work, I went to my school library and found his notebooks from the 1930s-50s and checked them all out at the library, spending hours analyzing all of his words. I could NOT put them down and when it came time to return to them to the library I didn't want to give them back. Luckily I found them on Amazon and I now own my own copies. He was definitely a hero because he took me from the deepest, darkest loneliness and helped me realize I was not alone and my way of thinking was an accepted and understood form. I was finally able to sort out the mess in my head and realize that life didn't have one specific meaning. That to each individual out there, there was a meaning he or she believed in and that was what got them through life.

2 Sylvia Plath

I discovered her about the same time I discovered Albert. This was the time in my life when I finally realized I wanted to be an English professor. I was finding out about so many amazing writers and it was thanks to my English and Literature professors. Sylvia was an amazing poet and author who suffered from severe depression. She wrote one of my all time favorite books, The Bell Jar. I loved Sylvia's work because, again, I could totally relate. Her depression seemed to coincide with my own at the time. She helped me feel not so alone. I found her amazing journal and there are so many sections that I high-lighted because I felt she was writing exactly what I was thinking in my own head. For awhile, I truly believed I was the reincarnated version of her. Sadly, Sylvia's depression led her to suicide.

3 Professor

I just call him Professor because he truly was THE GREATEST Professor I've ever had. College was a time of maturing for me and figuring out who I was. I was shedding off the fucked-up high school version of myself and really starting to grow up and accept life instead of fight against it. I finally realized what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, thanks to Professor. He showed me how beautiful literature really was. And not just the mainstream stuff. He wasn't afraid to go underneath the surface and teach us exciting experimental forms of literature. I learned SO much from this guy in just one semester. He introduced me to the Oulipo movement and taught me several different ways of expressing myself through beautiful experimental poems. To this day, I still experiment with my writing and it really is amazing writing with constraints. I kept in touch with him throughout the years and this man has given me so many amazing books. Books that he even published himself. I remember I didn't like him at first because he kept cancelling class. Then one day I had a suicidal-freak-out/panic attack in his class room. He was there for me the whole time and ended up sending the rest of the class home. He had to call the ambulance but I don't blame him. After I was able to calm down and catch my breath I was taken away to the hospital to get checked up, but the man never judged me for it. In fact we were a lot closer after that. He is such an amazing person and I hope to keep in touch with him through the years, especially when I myself am finally an English professor.