Ok so a friend of mine just joined this wonderful website and we decided to do the 31 day note challenge! Seems like fun! So here we go:
Day One: Write about yourself!
Ok sounds easy...right? But sometimes I really wonder, do I know myself? Like sure I have a favorite color and I like certain bands and am attracted to certain guys and like to eat certain foods. But that all changes .....a lot. So I guess an entry writing about myself could actually be insanely different if I were to do so again a year from now. I guess that kind of scares me. But it is normal right? I just wish I knew myself, more. But then again, maybe it is nice not being easily defined. So about me. The me I am now. At this present moment. I am genuine. I hate liars. I am nice to people that are nice to me. I can't stand when people are rude for no fucking reason towards me! I want to smile more, but sometimes I feel awkward smiling. I often get nervous that people are going to judge me because that has happened to me a lot in the past. Everyone says, who cares what people think about you, but I guess I do because I don't want people to get the wrong impression of me because it is something I will be bothered about for awhile. A lot of people think I am snobby because I don't talk much, but really I am just extremely shy. Basically if someone starts a conversation with me, I will talk back and start to feel comfortable. I mostly have problems being friends with girls. Many of them are so catty and backstabbing. I like to be stress free. I think way too much. My thoughts are all over the place (can you tell?) and I AM my own worst enemy. I'm never good enough for who I want to be. I try to not be hard on myself but there is so much I want to do, so much I want to accomplish. And I am very disappointed in myself a lot of the time. I remember when I was young and thinking I'd have a complete education, a real career by my mid-twenties. But I'm not even close. Reality slapped me in the face and here I am ....23 years old and working part time at Wal-Mart. I try to stay positive, I mean I have grown a lot throughout the years and have learned many hard lessons. I am very lucky to still be alive and I do have a lot going for me. I just need to remember who I want to be and never get sidetracked and find myself on the wrong path again. I'm finally truly on my own and ready to be the person I always knew I could be. Now if only I had the time and the money....I'm sure I'd be there already.
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