Aug 14, 2017
5:11pm
I’m sitting in a hotel room in the middle of the mountains and I know I won’t be posting this tonight but why not get some words out? I pretty much go through every day with all these words floating through my mind. I think it’s been pretty obvious that I’m having trouble saying things lately although I have been posting more than I thought I was.
There is actually wifi here. I used it about a half hour ago to check my email. Only the gmail account because I have a tiny obsession with checking to see if the Sheriff has contacted me. Lord help me. =|
Still nothing, by the way. Last night, after I checked, I tried very hard to convince myself that it’s definitely not going to happen and I should just let go of the idea. I know I’m way more of a realist than an optimist, but there’s something about this one that I can’t get rid of. Not sure why.
I figure after this week is over it’ll be a lot easier to accept that he’s either not coming, or not going to get in touch, and then I’ll move on from it. It’s not like an unhealthy obsession at this point. It’s just something that I think about and clearly have been thinking about more lately but that’s only because of the whole getting in touch with him thing. This week in particular is also only because he’d specifically mentioned these dates. Once they’ve gone by then it’ll be different. I’ll back to the way things were last year, or the way they were between April and now. It’s not that hard to let go of someone that’s so far away. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
Just gotta make it through the rest of this week! Come on Rose! You can do it! =]
But man I so want some homemade brisket and a cerveza! haha.
I brought up with JR that last week marked two years since we’d gone “hunting.” I use the quotes because we basically just rode around in his jeep at sunset drinking beer and the only thing the guys jumped out to do was pee. So yeah, quotes it is. hah.
Aug 15 - 8:58pm
I’m back home. I got distracted yesterday when I went to go downstairs to dinner and then never got back to the writing. It was mostly just rambles anyway, as per usual.
We got home around 7:30 or so. It wasn’t too bad of a trip. We took a back road for the last part of it so we didn’t have to deal with any traffic and it was great. Beautiful country and very peaceful. I’m glad we decided to go that way. =) Although I had a lot of thoughts about the Sheriff because I think he lives out off of that road when he comes to town. It’s the same area we explored back in April but we went much further.
…still no word /sadface…
I did, however, come home and get on here to check all my emails. I figured I’d skim through all of them to see if there was anything important and then worry about deleting the junk tomorrow at work. The office computer works a lot faster and easier than this old laptop.
So the first thing I do is load fb, because it happens to be the first page I land on. Then I went and started signing into all of my emails. I like to multi-task and do a bunch of stuff at once. So I logged into my yahoo account and at the very top I saw an email from fb and I alt-tabbed over to fb to see all of the little notifications lit up. There were notifications, messages, and a request! I am so not that popular!
I clicked back over to my email and saw all of the messages were about a photo I was tagged in. Hmm…what the heck? I haven’t been around anyone taking pictures.
Well it turns out that my cousin is out in Cancun right now and she tagged me in a picture saying stuff about how that’s where I’d be soon. All of the messages after that were just comments from all of her friends/family. Nothing having to do with me. I also have timeline review so although I’ve been tagged it hasn’t been posted to my page.
The message turned out to be from Y asking if I’d seen my calendar and if I was still up for this Saturday’s ice cream tour. Why yes I am!
Last, but not least, the friend request: I saw the name in the email and at a quick glance recognized it as a client of mine from work. It hadn’t really clicked but then after everything else I looked back and yup. There he is.
This is so weird! I mentioned to mom that a client had found me and she immediately guessed “el guerito”. hah. Nope. [but that would be a fun surprise to come home to!] She doesn’t really remember who I’m talking about. Of course she also does not have to worry, or even consider, anything to do with social media so she doesn’t really get it.
It’s kind of a big deal though. I think? I mean, I don’t know this guy outside of work. We’ve never had any interactions. But he is around my age [the same age maybe?] and I know he’s friends with a guy I grew up with. And now I’m thinking that maybe they might even be cousins? I don’t know why that came into my mind. But it would make sense because last year, around Thanksgiving, I saw this guy walking in front of my house and he looked just like him! My neighbor is related to this guy I grew up with so if they were doing a family thing then maybe he’d be around. I’m not sure though. I saw that guy in the street a couple times that day but I never got a really good look at him. I was just assuming from what I saw. No confirmation though. So it’s all a mystery.
I was semi-interested in this guy though. Up until like this last year when I found out he had a gf [he’s never mentioned at work]. It wasn’t even like a crush or anything. It was just this young-ish guy that was interesting and kept coming back. Living in a small town means you don’t meet a lot of different people so you get a little hooked on any one that happens to be even remotely new. I didn’t actually think it would even be anything but I had seen him on fb before and considered what it would be like to be friends outside of work.
Coming home and finding that there though, from like two-three hours before I got home? That was completely unexpected. Not in a million years. Never even considered it a possibility.
plot twist
What do I do now? I’m very good at avoiding these friend request things. I don’t want this to be weird though. And I don’t know how much I want him to know about me either? My fb isn’t one of those places where everyone and their mother is included. I have like a hundred friends, or something, and they are either family or people I’ve gone to school with. I’ve never been in a position like this where I have to decide whether or not to add someone I barely know. No one’s ever found me through work before!
Ok, I just went back there to see if Y had responded and when I clicked on messages I noticed one of those “message request” things had a number. It was a message from this same guy but I can’t read the whole thing or he’ll know I’ve seen it. hah. He does mention he tried to find me at work though so maybe it’s all work related! I’ll check it out tomorrow if he doesn’t stop by. Our hours are posted on the door and the answering machine though so hopefully he’ll just pop in and we’ll settle everything. I can play all innocent, like I haven’t seen anything, and we’ll be good to go.
Updates tomorrow!
Oh, I just checked my work email on a whim and there’s nothing there. I guess maybe he doesn’t have my card? Because that would be my next step if I was looking for someone.
Anyway, like I said, updates to follow I’m sure! I never expected to be talking about this but maybe it’ll be a nice distraction to help me get through this week of anticipation.
rose.
10:01pm
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