Full circle in Mental Health, 2017

I had my follow-up with my regular dr this morning. i told her I stopped taking the zoloft because of the flip in side effects, and I listed what the side effects were. I actually made a list and brought it with me so that I wouldn’t forget. She didn’t scold me for stopping without talking to her about it first. So that was nice.

However, she wants be to go back to counseling, and she really wants me on some sort of medication because she’s worried the counseling wouldn’t be enough. I said no to medication for the time being and let her schedule me an appt with the therapist. Just knowing i have that appt is stressing me the eff out. I don’t know if I can keep it.

Business Idea: walk and talk therapy. Because I think people like me would have greater success in therapy if the session was a long walk with the therapist where you could walk/talk everything out. Cuz me sitting down in a small room trying to get everything off my chest is more anxiety-inducing than it is helpful. Deep down I don’t think I’ll be able to keep this appt. Its 3 weeks away and it’s already causing me great anxiety.

But I’ve downloaded breathing exercise apps on my phone. And those were actually suggestions of my therapist when I first started seeing her. I fully admit she does know her shit. It’s not her, it’s me. I actually made my dr laugh today. She asked “what stirs up your anxiety?” my answer was “Social situations....this”, referencing the appt i was having with her that moment. I didn’t mean for it to sound funny, but it came awkwardly and yeah.

But for real, I’m good.