415 in idea barrages

1.) Knowing little about golf I imagine Ben Hogan as Hulk Hogan except with a golf club. And I know it’s wrong but it’s too fun to stop.

2.) If the world’s largest non-atomic bomb is necessary, we could debate, but only a goddamn monster would BRAG about using it.

3.) Shadoobie, Shatner. Shadoobie, Shatner, Shatner.

4.) Up on Nipple Creek, I told yas, fountains triple-deep with areolas

5.) Easter eggs, dyed for your sins.

6.) It still haven’t seen the VHS cover of “Fire In The Sky” photoshopped to say “Fire In Mah Lazor”.

7.) Really fancy devil’s food cake is known as sheolfood.

8.) A return to “unabashed worker exploitation” came so easily by letting people think they’re not “workers” and calling it “the gig economy”.

9.) Superman writers: “I guess replacing dead Superman with four new ones was a bit much.” Wolverine writers: “Hold my beer, bub.”

10.) Unpopular opinion: FRIENDS succeeded not as a comedy (it wasn’t funny) but as an aspirational fantasy for bland people.

11.) So they don’t CARE Big Bang Theory is a brutally unfunny stereotype bomb they just enjoy the fantasy of hanging out with celebs and “babes”?

12.) You’d think I love trickster gods because theyre storytellers but really its because theyre flawed gods whose power comes from their flaws.

13.) If I ever do a youtube vlog, I think my outro will be “and remember, having an outro catchphrase is lazy and insults your audience”.

14.) If the Simpsons where Lisa got to briefly be a cool kid at the beach house doesn’t break your heart every single time, well, you aren’t me.