Stop Throwing Things in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017
- March 14, 2017, 4:58 p.m.
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- Public
Here is a comment that is going to stir a lot of ire in people:
It can be pretty hard trying to be an enlightened new millennium man.
Allow me to reveal what I mean…
I’ve been having more and more sexually charged dreams of late. One suspects this is a natural reaction to my current lifestyle cycle. As it is about a month since I last engaged sexually with my wife, my brain sending me unconscious prods makes sense. Last night’s was particularly enjoyable. It involved a slow, smooth bit of foreplay, me going down on a woman for a solid thirty minutes.... it was a very invigorating dream.
When I woke up (tent pole not withstanding), I went over to my phone for news of the day and other events. There was an article about Lauren Mayberry (lead singer of Chvrches). I’d never heard of the band but they are Scottish with an interesting band name, so I decided to read the article. It was about Mayberry’s fight against misogyny and objectification.
Here is where the struggle enters. Mayberry is 100% correct that as a lead female singer, many people will see her as a Sex Object and stop their analysis there. There were several mentions of horrid, disgusting, violent things people had said/e-mailed/tweeted to her. That is atrocious and unacceptable. HOWEVER, the article went on to explain that it was wrong to see Mayberry as a pretty woman. That, to even notice her physical attractive quotient was to objectify her. This, my friends, is a struggle. It is a struggle because I know whittling someone down to their appearance is inappropriate but to castigate someone for noticing someone’s appearance seems extraordinarily harsh. If someone is attractive, I should not be chastised for thinking so. If someone is not attractive, but I think they are attractive… I should not be chastised for thinking so. If someone is attractive, I should not be chastised for disagreeing. If someone is not attractive, I should not be chastised for agreeing. PROVIDED that such thoughts don’t form into action. I’m not going to start sending Lauren Mayberry letters saying I think she’s pretty… but developing an opinion about her appearance should NOT make me out to be some kind of misogynist monster. And that is the struggle of the modern man attempting to navigate a world where he genuinely sees women as equals. Am I a misogynist for thinking Aishwarya Rai is beautiful? Am I not a misogynist because she is a former Miss World? Or can a human being ever be appreciated for their appearance?
Lauren Mayberry
Aishwarya Rai
OH. MY. GOODNESS!
So the same case from before making me ever so thrilled with getting the fuck out of government work!
Mental Health Case. Obviously. The same mental health case where the patient has my cell phone number. HERE IS HOW BROKEN IOWA’S MENTAL HEALTH CARE IS
Patient, we’ll call him M, has been diagnosed “Severe Schizophrenia with Lack of Insight.” Every few months, he’s picked up on the street for Public Intoxication or Disorderly Conduct. The man is functionally homeless, couch surfing with friends and relatives until they realize he isn’t going to take his meds and they kick him out. He persistently refuses to take his medication or treat his illness. The State has two options. (1) Treat him as a Criminal or (2) Treat him as a Mental Health Case. IF we treat him as a Criminal, it would require a magistrate who is willing to put him in jail. Since he is clearly mentally unwell, she refuses to put M in jail. Fine. So… we deal with him as Mental Health. But he refuses to take his medication and he refuses to get any treatment. SO I get him legally committed. I use the power of the state to force him into a treatment facility. OOPS IOWA. He’s legally committed but there aren’t enough (any, practically) State Run Mental Health Facilities… so if M isn’t willing to comply, the facility would rather kick him out to make room for people who actually want to take their medications and go to treatment. THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF THE COMMITTAL?! M is sick. M’s sickness contributes to his being homeless and not taking meds. All we have available to us is The Commitment Proceeding. But after we get him Committed; the Facility says he’s not cooperating and they don’t want to deal with him. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
As you can see… it is very frustrating.
HA! It’s funny. Prepping my Juvenile Cases and Mental Health cases… I felt a need, a sort of urgency to it. My job is to help people and this helps them. Now that I am supposed to do the same for the Criminal Files? I feel no urgency. I feel no sense of need. I wonder if that is because (1) I never interact with victims in this job; (2) I never get a sentence more significant than “fines”; or (3) nobody in this county takes Criminal Matters seriously or with even a modicum of urgency. Again, it could be all three. I know I’ll be on the other side when I start my new job… defending criminals and such but… I just hope Tiny Town hasn’t killed my enjoyment of the law.
Purple Dawn ⋅ March 14, 2017
Nash ⋅ March 14, 2017
It is all about respect, meaning treating a woman like a person rather than a collection of physical attributes. Years ago, a friend of mine had a girlfriend with very much the same outlook, that her physical beauty should not be noticed or commented upon, yet she worked in a place that very much prized the body beautiful and she would almost certainly not had the job if she were not comely. She really did not like it when you pointed that out. It is like race relations. The old chestnut "I don't notice race" is an obvious lie. One should be judged on how they react to race differences not to pretend to be oblivious to the whole issue. I sympathize with women on this issue because they are taught from a very early age how important their appearance is, not only in men's eyes but from the judgment of other women as well.
Tempestuous1 ⋅ March 14, 2017
I don' think finding someone physically attractive or unattractive when you meet them is wrong. We all do it, men and women, and if someone says they don't, they're lying. It's human nature.
Rhapsody in Purple ⋅ March 15, 2017
I guess famous pretty people have so many people tell them they are pretty that it must get bothersome. But maybe part of the problem is that people feel the need to share their opinion on how you look when maybe that's not always necessary. Observe the attractiveness of others, but maybe it doesn't need to be a topic of conversation.
i think the opposite is that there are people also commenting in the opposite way when people aren't pretty enough. I know plenty of women online who have to deal with random men just commenting on photos they've posted on twitter saying they aren't good enough. That sometimes there is this attitude that men think we need their approval or something.
But obviously we can't not notice attractiveness, i think we just need to think what we do with that and how we treat it.
Deleted user ⋅ March 15, 2017
I hate the double standard, where men are "bad" but yet women are JUST AS BAD. We lust after men, we look at them, fantasize about them, tell our girlfriends how we would "like to get some of that". Physical appearance is important despite what others say. You never notice someone's sense of humor or how intelligent they are the first time you see them. If you only see them as a pair of legs and big boobs sure that's not good. But I've definitely only noticed men for their broad shoulders and bulge in their pants so hey, whatever lol
Skikkles911 ⋅ March 15, 2017
Chvrches is great. I love some of their songs. But for sure Mayberry has had some ridiculous comments thrown at her, like many other singers of this age.
Objectification isn't thinking someone is attractive, it's thinking them as not a person, yeah? It's fine to think someone's attractive as long as they don't forget the humanity behind it. Goes for both genders. Weird people get that twisted.