Maybe I will in 2017

5:01pm

I have this desire to type something up today but I know that I’m going to end up talking about the same ol’ stuff and it seems a little silly. The idea of going over the same topic constantly is kind of annoying to me. I get that it’s nice to have things recorded, and that’s pretty much the only thing I’ve got going on these days, but I feel like I’m beating it to death. Like there are only so many things that can change over the course of a day and I’ve been writing a lot lately. Probably more than I’ve written in years! I can’t remember the last time I had this many entries written by the beginning of February. Not that that’s a bad thing. Just kinda throws me off a little, I guess.

Anyway, we all know I’m going to ramble on about it regardless so here goes:

As an update to last night’s conversation. It kind of ended on a slightly awkward note, but not as bad as I would expect. Had this been two months ago I probably would have been all weird and weepy about it.

So we started joking about the client and whether or not she mentioned all the stuff we said about him after he left. He said she did but when I questioned it he just gave up. Then later he asked me again if we’d talked about him and I said, “maybe ;) they definitely gave me a hard time about it.” He laughed and said, “but they didn’t know I was talking about you.” I said that I guessed we didn’t know that but apparently it was obvious enough for them to assume. He said something about how they’re women and that’s “kinda your thing.” I said, “what?! making assumptions?”

I was closing up the office for the day so after I got home and had dinner I found another message from him saying he was just playing. I replied, “Uh huh. It’s cool. There’s some other girl out there you want to date. No big deal. ;)” He took forever to reply though! I was actually in the middle of sending a message giving him a hard time about what a terrible moment that was to stall when a new message popped up. It said, ” Lol, you’re crazy Rose!” I said, “Damn TF, I was just about to give you a hard time for hesitating on a response. Had me worried there. Although technically you didn’t deny it!”

Then he goes, “I didn’t deny it but I was just letting you assume…” =| I told him that he better be careful because apparently women are good at assuming and I might just assume enough to move on to one of those other guys from work…
Now, I’m not entirely sure why I said it like that. I guess I just want him to admit that he wants me? I don’t know. It still feels like a game so I think I’m looking for some concrete words I can hold on to. Something that says this is real.

Within about a minute that jerk replied, ”Maybe you should…“
That was so not the answer I was looking for dude! But being the person I am I said, “damn…well if that’s how it is then…just say the word.” Because seriously! Don’t screw with me! He immediately said, “oh snap” and I said, “you know I don’t mess around” and he said, “Yeah I know!!!”

And I was going to say something along the lines of the don’t screw with me thing after but I hesitated and then it seemed like it was too late. I kept rolling over all the different things I could reply but then it was after 10pm and I figured he wasn’t going to respond anyway. It would be a waste of words. He doesn’t tend to continue the conversation the next day. Whatever.

I mean, he didn’t actually say the word so I’ll give it some time before I choose to cut my losses and move on. Honestly I don’t feel so bad about it. Like it was kinda funny for the most part the way the conversation went down. Everything except the “maybe you should” part, which definitely stung. Because I was looking for some kind of confirmation and he totally blew me off. It’s not that hard dude. Just say you freaken want me! Quit playing this stupid game. Don’t walk into my office trying to hold my hand and say stuff about wanting to marry me and then turn around and tell me to move on. Make up your mind already dude.

I actually had to call him today. Mom had been pushing for weeks to get me to call him to bring in paperwork [which I never did because I don’t want to mix business/personal anymore] and he finally brought his stuff in and then she was slacking. I needed to know what he was missing. So she finally had a chance to go through it and gave me the list. I procrastinated on the call and ended up taking a client so it was sometime after 2:30p when I finally called. He picked up saying our business name and I told him that that was my line and then I went straight into asking about the stuff he was missing. I didn’t mess around. No jokes. No funny talk.

He said he’d call me back with the info he was missing after he got home [but he hasn’t] and I asked if he wanted to make an appointment. He said he’d make one later but probably for Thursday. Then a while later Mom ended up calling after we’d updated his info to give him the news I guess. He didn’t answer though. I was hoping he would because he’d probably think it was me and I wanted to know what he’d say. haha. Oh well.

Perhaps he’ll call tomorrow. He definitely seemed to want to joke a bit because he was dragging out his words at the end. Saying “ohhhhhhhhhhhhh k” and I said “ok. let us know when you have the information” and hung up. We’re not having a grand ol’ time anymore. At least not on the phone at work.

You know I kinda want him to feel like something’s wrong. I want him to just admit already how he feels. Just be real and honest. It ain’t that difficult!

We might actually get out at a decent hour tonight. I’m hoping for tacos for dinner! I missed lunch again, although I did have celery and peanut butter during a quick break. It helps to have that snack for sure! Don’t know why we’d never thought about it before.

Ok. I’m going.

rose.
6:31pm