curse is over in 2017

2:14pm

HA! If I thought the phone was ringing a lot three days ago, today must be a world record! I don’t even know how it happens. Always at the same time too! Like I’ll pick up one line, then mom picks up the other, then as soon as I hang up it starts ringing again, so on and so forth. Forever…

I’m going to need a milkshake tonight. Or a giant shot of tequila. Or both? Yeah, maybe both…

Today’s probably just the first day of what’s going to end up being a really crazy week. I always forget just how crazy this time of year is, or I probably block it from my mind so that I don’t panic and refuse to come into work. =]

This morning was especially difficult too. Of course it had to be a Monday! Although that doesn’t make much difference for us since we were also open yesterday. But anyway, this morning we had a client right at 9am when we got in. As we were finishing the paperwork we ended up receiving error messages, which spiraled down into having to contact tech support, then escalating the case and spending the next almost 3 hours hoping/praying they’d fix it.

They were able to get it fixed, thank God. I was really having a break down over it though. Like on the verge of crying. Because a very similar thing happened last year and we had to shut down for a couple days and it was quite a terrible experience. I still have nightmares just thinking about all we had to deal with.

So I was having visions of that and I was starting to panic. At some point Mom made a joke that the reason everything was happening was because I was cursed since I turned down TF’s marriage proposal. =| Thanks Mom! We had a good laugh about it. I said that it was probably true. I mean thinking about it, I probably did just refuse the one thing I’ve always been asking the world for. heh.

Quick sidenote: I half-expected him to call that day after work but my hopes weren’t up too high so they weren’t dashed. I ended up calling him on Saturday from the office. It was work related, but I had plans to mess with him a bit. Joke about giving him the details on the guys, or telling him I’d changed my mind, or reminding him to bring in my ring. He never answered though and I didn’t leave a message. I didn’t know what to say and I figured he’d get the missed call since it didn’t go straight to voicemail. People still get missed calls on their fancy phones, no?

When he didn’t call back by the end of the day I ended up sending him a text that night saying that I was calling to give him all the details he wanted but he never called me back and that I’d be in the office the following day after 12.

No response, of course. And no call at the office yesterday either, of course.

I think the hardest part for me is that I don’t know what he’s thinking and I cannot understand his motive. I’m not used to being caught so off guard by a guy. Like what the hell do you want from me?! What was possibly running through his mind after that phone call, or even before? I can’t comprehend it.

So earlier, we were about two hours into the whole ordeal, and I made a joke about how if this was all because of my curse then I was going to call TF right now to come in and get a judge in here too, and we were going to get this whole thing taken care of. Mom wasn’t paying much attention though so she basically missed the joke and asked what was going on. I told her she was going to get her son-in-law and she had no idea what I was talking about. I reminded her she’d said I was cursed and she was all confused. haha. First she cursed me and then she forgot what it was even about. Great!

But the really crazy part was that within about 10 minutes of that [I wasn’t watching the clock but it was quick!] I walked to the back, the server had finally come back up, and the tech got everything working again!

Just like that. I said I was going to get rid of the curse and everything worked out. Except I didn’t actually call TF, but it’s the thought that counts right? =)

I was kinda tempted to send him a message though. About how I was having a terrible day and we should just get married so he can take care of me. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with work anymore. ha. But I don’t know. I’m hesitant to reach out like this. I think it would be sorta funny to poke at him, but at the same time I start to feel like I’m being needy or I don’t know. What would the right word for that be? With the fact that he’s not responding to my messages again. That’s when I start to feel all stupid about everything. Like why keep reaching out just to disappear again? Quit stringing me along!!! Geez.

How’d I get into this crazy a*s situation in the first place? Ugh. I just don’t know what kind of lesson I’m supposed to be learning here. And I continuously float from one end of the spectrum to the other. Between being annoyed/hurt by everything, wanting him to know that, and not wanting to joke around. And really wanting to start over because I like him and I probably would run out and marry him if he weren’t such a jerk.

I feel so lame when I say that, but I seriously think about him all the time. As I fall asleep, when I wake up in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning. All day long. It’s so pitiful. And I think it really only hurts during times like these when I think about how he won’t respond. Why does he have to be such a jerk about everything? Why can’t he just show up with some flowers and tell me he’s done playing this stupid game?

Ahh, wishful thinking, I guess. I’ll just sit here and continue to ride this stupid wave and see where it takes us. What other option do I have?

I’m sure you can expect more ranting, and raving, and rambling about the subject as we continue on.

rose.
3:49pm

p.s. I have another item to add to the detail list for TF because we just got a client survey back where the guy I helped yesterday gave us all 5’s and said the reason he gave that rating was: very pretty. Haha! Score! I’m rocking this year ;)

Last updated January 30, 2017