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when I started talking cholesterol medicine
I noted the generic name “Atorvastatin”
realizing that it sounded like the name
of an NPR on-air personality
“Atorva Statin, for Marketplace”
you know one of those names that are
definitely not Western European but are
really had to pin down exactly to any
set-region other than not-Western Europe
Jad Abumrad
Ina Jaffe
Kai Ryssdal
Neda Ulaby
Soroya Sarhaddinelson
Ofeibea Quistarcton
and so on

not that I’m offended by it or anything
I’m glad that public radio is at least
trying to add voices to the discourse that
aren’t all middle-aged white assholes
you’d run into at Whole Foods at two in the afternoon
wearing a professor’s jacket with the leather elbows
debating if which brand of bird seed bell
is suitably organic enough
but I’ve noticed it and now I can’t stop noticing it
so whenever I’m watching the fifty thousands ads
for prescription drugs on digital side channels that show
old reruns of CHIPS or Press Your Luck or whatever
what would’ve been the UHF channels twenty years ago
I can’t help but hearing it every time
the brand as one name, the generic name as the other

another drug that sounds like an NPR host is Januvia Sitagliptin
“For Morning Edition, Januvia Sitagliptin, NPR Washington”
or “And from NPR West, I’m Humira Adalimumab”
“Live from the United Nations, Chantix Varenicline, NPR New York”
“At Wrigley Field, Nuedexta Dextromethorphan, NPR Chicago”
“Reporting from the most racist city in the North,
Prilosec Omeprazole, NPR Boston”
or whatever

I’m not saying it’s bad
diversity is better than not-diversity
even if it’s weird and confusing
maybe I’m just saying
I’m probably the only one who notices this because
not a whole lot of people consume equal amounts
of Fresh Air and Svengoolie, I suppose
maybe this is a me thing
maybe if I didn’t listen to so much NPR
I’d think these drugs were all names of
extradimensional imps Superman had to trick
into saying their names backwards to get them to
leave him alone for at least ninety days at a time

“I’ll get you to say it!”
“No you won’t!”
“Yes I will!”
“No you won’t!”
“Yes I will!”
“Superman, you’ll never get me to say Nitats Avrota!”
and then poof
the cosmic jester Atorva Statin
doesn’t get to bother him for months
I don’t know, this might just be a me thing
all these things are probably just me things