3:51pm
I think I’ve hit that afternoon slump because I’m so tired right now that I’m pretty sure I could lay my head down on this desk and take a nap. If my desk weren’t directly across from a window I might actually consider it. I’m using this as a distraction instead.
I’m slowly working my way through JR’s box of papers. It’s not the most exciting work but it’s better to get it done now while I still have time. Mostly I’m trying to organize it and sort the stuff that I tend to just shove in the box to get off my desk. There are so many papers too. I’m not sure I’d be all that sad if he up and quit. It’s not like I get paid anyway! It would be less work and/or stress for everyone if he found something else. I won’t be that surprised if it comes down to that either. Sounds like he’s definitely contemplating the idea.
Anyway, we had a very delicious slice of lasagna for lunch! We’ve been experimenting since we started talking about it before New Years. Did I tell you all that we had lasagna for our New Years Eve dinner? I don’t even feel like I mentioned much about it because I was distracted by what went down with TF. So yeah, we had lasagna and sopitos and it was all super amazing. Mom also made my favorite cheesecake but it ended up not being that great [I think one of the ingredients we used was an off-brand and it ruined it].
I did end up joking about it on fb saying that I didn’t know whether to be grateful/excited about my mom cooking all my favorite foods for NYE, or worried that this was my “last meal” and she was trying to get rid of me. haha! It was all excellent though so I enjoyed it regardless of her intentions. ;)
So last night after we got home we went straight to making a new one. We didn’t want the ricotta cheese to spoil! =) We made it in a slightly different way so the cheese mixture was better on this one but the sauce was better on the original. Next time we’ll combine the two and it should be pretty perfect! Man I love lasagna! It’s a good thing we don’t have it too often.
As we were doing all this I was trying to decide whether or not to continue the contact with TF. He’d ended with that stupid winky face which I’m starting to dislike as much as the “ok ok ok” response. Those aren’t words buddy! Try a little harder! But new beginnings, right? I ended up telling him that this was my lucky year too since I’d already had 3 people bring or invite me to dinner and I haven’t even started complaining about not having time for lunch yet. haha.
Within 10 minutes he’d responded saying, “Oh snap! You trying to make me jealous!!!” Which could have been taken various ways [another reason I dislike text!] because he could have been jealous about all the food. Or he could be jealous people are bringing me dinner. Or he could be asking if I’m trying to make him jealous even though there weren’t question marks. Etc. Etc. [Is it obvious that I over-analyze everything? lol]
I’ll admit there was a part of me that was like: duh! f*cker! There’s a reason I used “I and me” instead of “us and we” although technically the food and the invites were for both of us. :) Part of it was also because he already gives me enough shit about my mom, but there was definitely a little bit of ulterior motive behind it. I mean hey! he had his chance. I had a completely open schedule for all those months and I was just waiting for him to ask me out again. Not my fault he didn’t take advantage!
I ended up saying that I was just sharing a story but if that was a consequence of it, there wasn’t much I could do about that. =] And of course I immediately got an “lol ;)” response and we haven’t exchanged a word since.
That’s ok though! I’m not tripping out about it the way I would have a couple weeks ago. I’m in such a better place, I tell ya! It’s crazy to look back on already. I don’t know what was going on with me. Like my world was ending or something. So drastic and dramatic about it all! Ugh. That silly girl! Glad she’s gone!
For now I’m just going to continue to roll with it. He can talk to me when he feels like it and I’ll decide how I feel like responding in the moment. Free and easy. Nice and breezy. =) He’s going to have to come in eventually, probably within the next month or so, we’ll see how it goes then. I’m going to have to remind myself not to be all weird about it. He’s just any ol’ human being. Who cares if he has those stupid beautiful eyes? You can handle it kid! He’s had them all these years and you were just fine around him. Nothing’s changed! [she says as she remembers staring at them for hours across the restaurant table.....] hah.
Time to pack up for home. I’m mostly through this box and I’m feeling accomplished enough for one day.
rose.
5:38pm
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