She went back home.
One too many questions, but that’s where she is.
My niece says that she understands how hard it is to break that habit. She’s familiar with the “I’m sorry” ‘s and “I won’t do it anymore” ‘s and has said that she too will support my daughter and be there for her. She also says that she has a back up plan if he does get out of control again.
At any rate…
Operation find me a paralegal job is underway.
I finally sent back the debit and credit card machine to the people and now I have $1500 off my back to pay.
I keep having dreams that I’m late for work. The first dream, I woke up at 7:44a and tried to rush and make breakfast and fix lunches for me and the kiddo and thought I’d catch the next bus, but then realized that at 7:44, that bus was on the way and I wasn’t even dressed. The next one, it was like 10:30 in the morning and I was so concerned with not being clocked in on time and I kept catching bus after bus and thinking of a lie to tell my supervisor as to why I was so late. Crazy…
I’ve decided to give alcohol a break for the moment. Just for the moment. I haven’t had a chance to really get drunk, shit-faced like. I’ll drink, sit on my couch and get sleepy and go to sleep. On New Year’s Eve, I went to watch my favorite local band play with RJ and had two tall vodka and tonics w/lime and the booty smelling champagne they passed out for the toast. I was good. I mean REEEEAAAALLY good and didn’t need to get another drink but I probably should have. Then New Year’s Day I didn’t do anything all day for real. The next day however, I went with RJ to this coffee shop. Then we went to the Chocolate Bar and had a drink, then we kidnapped Scott and had dinner at John D. McGurk’s. From there we hit some place his friend was playing, The Shaved Duck I think, and then we went to The Scottish Arms. I’d been wanting to go there and have dinner, but beers were fine. We had a great time.
I think that sometimes RJ gets jealous just a bit because Scott helps me out from time to time. I don’t like being a charity case, but he does it from the heart and he does it because I’m a single mother, still nursing her youngest child and taking care of my grandson with only one source of income that’s not really enough to get us by. Anyone can struggle, but with single mothers, it’s not just her. I’ve got lives I’m caring for. I say that RJ gets jealous because a couple of times she said jokingly, “What I got to do to get some help?? I’m struggling too!” So for the most part I don’t ask nor do I always accept. Like this night. I went to pull out my debit card and it turned into “Whoa wait, you good to handle this? The bill is $50.” I told him I was good.
Anyway, work has slowed down. I’m thinking of changing my W2 again to go exempt for the next 6mos and change it back in June.
I really need things to stop being critical so that I can do right with my money. Like for real.
Well, that’s all I’m spilling and have to spill at the moment.
Will get at you all later.
Happy New Year, pray all is well…