Nothing Bad Ever Happens At Christmas (warning not a nice entry) in diary

Ok fuck you tv show called This Is Us. I think I am showing great restraint not blarring this all over facebook or not texting or yelling this to Myke.
I had the feeling of impending doom for the whole show. They kept saying ‘nothing bad ever happens at christmas’. I kept thinking ‘bullshit’ every time they said it. And kept telling myself that they have to make it all lovey because it is a tv show. And maybe the writers don’t know.
Everytime they said it and every time I teared up I thought ‘perhaps I am not as together as I think I am’. I tried to rationalize it with maybe I am getting sick and it is playing with my emotions. And they just kept saying it. I bed 20 times in the whole hour show. And now my face feels like it wants to explode off my body. And my jaw is sore and I am mad.
Someone has a heart attack at the end of the show…on Christmas eve.
My Dad died of a heart attack 7 years ago on Christmas Day.
I guess I am not as together as I thought I was.
Fuck you This Is It.