over a year now visiting the iron in my challenge

i’ve been going to the gym a minimum of 3 days a week for a little over a year now. my body composition has changed significantly. i’m in much better shape than i was a year ago. i’m not exactly where i want to be yet. but the mirror doesn’t lie. my family has been surprised. though no one in my regular life has noticed or said anything. thats fine, i wasn’t expecting it. i’m still not where i want to be and that slightly disappoints me. i feel like i’ve hit a plateau. not that i’m going to stop the grind, no it makes me think i need to go harder. i finally stood on a scale and within the last year i have lost 20 pounds. its really not easy to see that when i’ve been working so hard. i know that i do look different than i did before i started so i can’t be too sad. i just need to push past this point. i might start doing 2 a days again. make sure i don’t hurt myself again. its also hard to maintain motivation when the results are like that. i’m not too pleased. the mirror doesn’t lie though. i know i’ve put on a ton of muscle. this is why its so tough, i know it wouldn’t be an overnight thing, but its definitely not happening nearly as fast as even my terrible expectations were. ok enough with the debbie downer stuff, my strength is the only measurable success i have. i can and do pick up the heavy weights, only the really big guys out lift me now. which is nice. still would like to lean out. i’m currently not on any supplements or anything like that. just vitamins, protein, and pre workout stuff. i also go to the gym with a friend, it works out really well even when i don’t want to go. which i will go barring extreme exhaustion or not enough time before the gym closes or some plans are happening in less than an hour. my diet hasn’t been as strict as it could be. we will see what the future brings, maybe i’ll do another cycle of something or another. i really do miss the mental clarity and the MUCH better sleep i got. I am going to keep at it. i have found that life gets easier to deal with when i’m dealing with the iron.