1.) Too many reformed churches, not enough deformed churches.
2.) Your English pub in Utica NY will be called “Drams Along The Mohawk”.
3.) Like Churchill’s approach to martini vermouth, I drive by a gym nodding toward it to affirm its existence then continue driving.
4.) Every time a lady makes an ill-thought-through attempt at bangs, Bettie Page’s estate should get a royalty.
5.) Get kicked out of a ren fest, just so you can well “MORE LIKE RENAISSANCE UNFAIR!” on the way out.
6.) I was sure he could complete the show without talking, there was not a doubt in my mime.
7.) We live in a world where “cat video aggregator” could be a legitimate job title. I’m not even judging, it’s just interesting.
8.) Hipsters prefer Trump speeches in the original German.
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