Frustrated in The ugly truth about making babies
- June 30, 2016, 4:22 a.m.
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- Public
I don’t know if joey doesn’t know what ivf fully involves, whether he thinks it’s a walk in the park, but honest to god I am starting to get so frustrated and a little resentful that he could ask me to do something so huge so we can both gain from it, but can’t just give up the freaking beers.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s been so much better, and I know I give him nothing but a bad press here, I truly am just venting all my frustrations, he’s not a bad guy, just a stupid one sometimes. I don’t know if he thinks what’s the point seeing as we’ll probably have to do ivf anyway, what difference does a few beers make, but to me it would mean the world of difference, it would make me feel some solidarity, and that he has some understanding of what he’s asking me to do.
I’m under absolutely no illusion as to how difficult the process is physically, and what a complete mind fuck it’s going to be. I’m crazy enough now with just my own regular hormones to worry about. And you know what, I make no apologies for that. Maybe it’s a woman thing, wanting the best for your child before its even here. I know for a lot of men babies are a bit of an abstract notion until they’re actually here. There’s not quite the same connection.
I asked him yesterday if he and Claire had talked about ivf when they found out initially about his sperm, and he said they talked about it but she didn’t want to do it. Maybe there’s some hesitation because he’s not really convinced it’ll happen when push comes to shove, I don’t know.
Or maybe he’s just a selfish pain in the arse.
Xx
Last updated July 08, 2016
Deleted user ⋅ June 30, 2016
Have you told him it would mean the world of difference to you if he stopped drinking altogether?
We often need it spelled out for us.
Glitter and Trauma Deleted user ⋅ June 30, 2016
So many times, it's the one source of friction in our relationship. I genuinely think he believes it won't make a difference, so what's the point.
Deleted user Glitter and Trauma ⋅ June 30, 2016
That sucks, especially when he knows how you feel about it.
Camdengirl Glitter and Trauma ⋅ June 30, 2016
Can you give him Tim Ferris' 4 Hour Body book? Some fascinating data on sperm production and drinking in it... Maybe from a completely different source (and a somewhat humorous read) it would sink in?
Oceanic Soul ⋅ June 30, 2016
hot-lips ⋅ June 30, 2016
I hope things work out. I have a similar problem with my bf (the drinking), so I sympathise. You can't really make someone do anything they don't want to themselves.
lessoff ⋅ June 30, 2016
my boss's wife went through at least 2 rounds (I know they had issues before that, cause when I called my boss to tell him that I had lost the baby he said he got it, he has been there himself-this all happened before I started working for him) of IVF. all my boss said was that it was rough on his wife. I didn't ask details cause I didn't think it was appropriate, other than why did she need IVF, apparently she had her appendix explode when she was 3 and it ruined her tubes. nuts right? she was lucky to survive it at all. but they have two happy and healthy boys. so I guess in the end it is all worth it.
Glitter and Trauma lessoff ⋅ June 30, 2016
Thankyou for your note, I'm sure if we're lucky enough to have a baby, however it comes about, it will seem worth it. Just hate that we're arguing over silly things, it was a joint decision to start a family, hate that I feel like I'm the only one worrying about it now!
lessoff Glitter and Trauma ⋅ June 30, 2016
I feel like it is a normal thing for one of the people to be not as much into it as the other. I told rob when we were TTC with Lydia that he needed to follow the schedule (he doesn't like being told what to do let alone about when to want to bang). so he actually did it, we did sperm meets egg plan. and got pregnant the first month we tried (this was after a loss that took 4 years to get the first positive, so it wasn't like we didn't try)
Glitter and Trauma lessoff ⋅ June 30, 2016
I've literally just sent him the link to sperm meets egg plan today. If there's the slimmest chance we could conceive naturally, I'd rather give that a go then happily go for ivf if need be, but it's not going to get us anywhere being half arsed about it. I think half of it is the same as you said, he just doesn't like being told what to do.