Here's one. in Stolen surveys.

1) Sometimes when you’re laying down, do you feel like you’re floating?

Nope. I feel like I’m playing with myself.
Usually, because I am.

2) Do you feel there is an overuse of antibiotics?
It’s not the over use that is the real problem, it’s the misuse. Such as people not finishing all the doses because they feel better, and think that all the bacteria are dead. Or doctors not prescribing it long enough. As well as the failure to test for a specific bacteria infecting someone, and then prescribing the right antibiotic for it. Instead, it’s a shot in the dark and hope to hit the target. All this creates resilient bacteria.

3) Do you prefer Alfredo or marinara sauce on your pasta?
White Clam sauce. I make it myself now because it’s super easy, and a small can in the supermarket is like $4.00

4) Does your mental state really affect your health/lifespan?
Goes both ways. But yes.

5) If you found out a family member was gay, would that change your views on homosexual relationships?
No. I’d feel the same as I do now.

6) Do you go to the library often?
No, mainly because I’m a Library Felon. Borrowed two books 9 years ago, and not sure if I ever returned them. Don’t want to go to Library jail.

7) When you want to stop chatting with someone on instant messenger, do you make up an excuse as to why you have to sign off?
I haven’t chatted on IM for many years. But when I was into it, I was so into it that it was always the other person that eventually had to go.

8) Have you ever visited your doctor after seeing a commercial on television about a new drug?
No. First, I don’t take medications, although probably could use one for my B/P at this point. Second, I rather not be that first person who uses a new drug, then find out years later that it causes dick shrinkage or some other horrible side affect.

9) Do you think the Bible is a sexist text?
Actually, in this case it’s more nature oriented then modern texts. It puts women in their place and doesn’t pretend that we are all equal.
(Please send all negative comments to someone on my friends list, thanks)

10) If you had a perfect relationship and your significant other did not want to get married, would you happily live with them for the rest of your life unmarried?
Fuck yeah. Marriage is an outdated, overrated concept.

11) Do you think that taxes should be cut completely?
No, we need taxes to pay for infrastructure, and other important things. What I would like to see is a flat tax. EVERYONE pays, and pays and equal precentage. Then I’d like to see responsible spending, and foreign aid greatly reduced until we get our own shit together.
GO TRUMP, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, you awesome fucker!!
(Please send anti Trump comments to another person on my friends list. Thanks)

12) Do you prefer to exercise indoors or outdoors?
Whatever the case, I prefer to do it alone, my way, and no witnesses at my huffing and puffing.

13) Should teenagers be tried as minors or adults?
Adults if it’s an adult type serious crime. Don’t need those fuckers running around I don’t care how old they are.

14) Would you rather be ignored or insulted?
Like I give a fuck

15) Do you think the new rock music that is being made today is targeted at teenagers, and if so, do you think that adults who listen to it are immature?
There’s still rock music made today? I thought today’s music was all about over vocalization and electric enhancement of talent-less voices, and EMO fagots singing about wishing they had a vagina.

16) Do you think dark chocolate is bitter, or just very sweet?
It’s fucking bitter, because cacao is bitter. Sugar makes chocolate sweet,

17) Do you think there is a family in this country that is NOT dysfunctional?
Depends on who’s judging. For instance my family is totally functional. It’s me and my cat. I get the right side of the sofa, she gets the left, and we only cross over for snuggle times, then back to our own space. Works great.

18) Do you think you would have a better chance at winning Jeopardy or Survivor?The only way that I could win either one, is if all the other contestants dropped dead, or dropped out.
Not smart enough for Jeopardy, and wouldn’t do well with the required back stabbing part of Survivor.

19) Is love an act of peace or courage?
Stupidity

20) Do you own a set of chopsticks?
Yes, and I believe it’s Ivory, from Japan or China. Not sure where it is though.
(Please send your support for Elephants to yet another person on my friends list, thanks)

21) If you were given a test verbally, but were told to write down the answers, would you fail?
No, I can fuck and smoke cigarettes at the same time.

22) If you were in a heated argument with someone, and later found out that you were wrong, would you apologize?
I wouldn’t apologize, but would tell them that they were right all along, and I appreciated the learning experience.
This is how white men behave, which is why we were able to create great civilizations out of conflict, instead of ending up eating mud, and having to be coddled by other nations for our survival.
We fight terrible wars, but when it’s over, we build civilizations out of the ashes instead of sitting in the ashes starving.

23) Do you have any interest in reading Paris Hilton’s new book?
Yes, right after I read Tiny Tim’s book on music.

24) Which is more of a chore: Taking care of your body or taking care of your car? The car, because that actually has to function flawlessly.

25) When you think about illegal immigrants in the United States, do you only think about Mexicans?
Yes. But now it’s going to be Apefrician’s as well, since the sewer gates are open, and the shit is spewing out of the sewer.
(You know where to send your “But we are all equal,” psychotic kumbaya comments to)

26) Do you think Johnny Depp is a talented actor?
Very much so.

27) Do you have a china cabinet in your house?
Yes, but need a bigger one, because the fucking Chinese migrants are starting to get squashed.

28) Do you have sensitive teeth?
No. But I do have sensitive balls, and unlike most guys, I rather not have them played with. Or at least very gently.
Wait....what was the question again?

29) Do you wear nothing but Tshirts and Jeans?
I wear what ever the mood dictates.

30) Have you ever seen snow in real life?
More then I could have ever wished for.

32) (no clue where 31 went) Females: If you got divorced, would you change your last name back to your maiden name?
Nope

33) If you could, would you go to the moon?
No. I’d rather take an awesome earthly vacation, with trees, mountains, clear lakes.
Fuck the moon.

34) Have you ever been entangled in seaweed while swimming in the ocean?
I don’t think that actually happens. See weeds just float around and pull out easily, so the worst case scenario would be the yuck factor.

35) What makes a person worse: being a cheater or being a liar?
Everyone has lied or cheated in one form or another, so personally I don’t place too much negativity on it. I’ve been guilty of both, although probably less then most.

36) Do you go out with your parents on a regular basis?
No, they live too far, and I don’t enjoy their company.

37) Do you feel like you’re a failure?
Oh yes, big time, at least by my own standards. By Negro standards, I’m a super star.....or a complete idiot for having worked for a living for over 30 years and for supporting myself, as meagerly as it may be.

38) Would you want to silence all the critical people in the world?
No, I will not be silenced, so fuck off.

39) Did you know the alphabet before you went to school?
No, but learned it quikly.

40) Would you rather use napkins or paper towels?
I use paper towels for just about everything. It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Fuck that, it’s better then sliced bread. You can just chew an unlicensed piece of bread, but you can’t wipe your ass with it when you run out of toilet paper.

Oh wait, actually yes you can.

Umm, what was the question again?

41) Do you tell people to shut up if they interrupt you?
No, I just stop speaking completely, and stare at them. I find there is more of an affect when they interrupt someone talking to ME. That way I can say, “I really want to hear the rest of what so and so is saying, are you sure you’re thing is that much more important or interesting??”

42) Do you bite your fingernails?
No, just my toe nails.

Bonus: In an earlier question, I specifically mis-spelled the word “quickly.” Because of the alphabet question, so get off your high horse, you’re not as smart as you thought you were, when you caught that. HA!

Last updated June 03, 2016