I had emailed George like 3 times... he rarely checks his emails (at least the ones from me anyways) for some reason. Then I texted him late Monday pm... he never responded. So I texted him again yesterday afternoon and asked him if he's "hibernating" again. He texted me much later and said he just woke up. I told him that my x was coming to get my son & that I was hungry. We went out for dinner and he was being a total turd. He was just looking at pics on his phone the whole time and laughing his ass off. That just really irritates me. I didn't let it ruin my time though because I was just completely happy with the atmosphere of the restaurant and the food and the drinks. It was a fantastic way to spend NYE. I just wish I was with better company. Either way, he got so full he just wanted to go right back home after dinner so he could go back to sleep before he went out for the night. That really irritated me too. But I gave up the effort and started driving him home when he was like... "what do you want to do?" Before I could answer, he asked if I wanted a back rub or something. I said sure, so we came back to my place and we did our thing. He seemed to just get into a better mindset once we came here... he was more focused on me and we were having a nice time. We ended up fooling around somewhat but once I finally agreed to fuck, we had a new issue. He couldn't get the condom on. He just kept complaining about having to use one. He said how long it's been since he's worn one. That immediately put things into perspective for me. I simply can't be fucking him anymore. He is with someone else besides me and clearly isn't using one there. If he can't maintain an erection in the amount of time it takes to put on a condom then we will not be fucking anymore. I will not fuck him without a condom. Which makes me think it is pointless to fuck around with him anymore since he can't cum unless he is fucking me. I jerk him off and he loves it but he can't cum. I give him the very best head he has ever had and he can't cum. So that has got to be frustrating as hell for him to be that turned on and not be able to cum. I could be a total jerk about it and not care about him so long as I get mine. But I don't do that. I care about his orgasm as much as he cares about mine.
Since he can't seem to handle all the backrubs and cuddling without getting really horny, it's just not fair to him.
I also told him about Lou. He was really cool about all that. I actually needed to know that he was alright with all that. I kind of think that maybe he wasn't as alright as he was letting on about that. But he was very nice and encouraging about it nonetheless. His words were sweet but the look in his eyes was sad. And he jumped at the chance to encourage me to not stop things with him when I mentioned the issues I have with going ahead with Lou.
I really do want him to be alright with it though. I told him that it was really weird for me to make the transition from him to Lou because I still have feelings for him. That is the God's honest truth. It almost doesn't seem natural to me to do this. I know I need to get over that part of it though because I know that I can't be with George the way that I need to be. No matter how we feel about each other, the time isn't right.
It was when I mentioned that Lou is a widower and that I don't want to be a rebound that he agreed that could be a problem and he was beaming when I told him that I worry about getting into a relationship with anyone else and the sex will never be as good as it is with him. He was completely agreeing with me on that one.
Maybe what I need to do is to just tell him that for now, we need to part ways with the sex and the feelings we have. We can stay friends but it really does need to be platonic. If things were ever meant to be with us, we will come back together when the time is right. I think I will tell him that soon. I will wait until he calls me again because I don't plan on contacting him again for a while... now that the holidays have passed. I have been a very good friend to him, I saw him through the holidays. If he slumps back into a depression like he was before, he needs to reach out to me. I will always be a good friend to him but I need to live my life.