Number crunching in The ugly truth about making babies

So since joey told me about his low sperm count, I’ve asked him what exactly his count is, what the implications of it are in terms of chances of conceiving etc. He’s always told me he can’t exactly remember.

Then last night out of the blue he starts spouting numbers. His count is 0.5 million, a healthy one is 20 million. He said they think there’s a less than 10 percent chance of conceiving naturally. Given that there’s only 20-30% chance of conceiving each cycle anyway, that leaves us with a 0.02% chance each cycle or something along those teeny tiny lines.

I don’t know why I’m so bothered. I knew he had a low sperm count, I just didn’t know how low. I know I’d have said the same thing if I had known the numbers, it’s irrelevant, if it’s low it’s low.

What doesn’t feel irrelevant is that he told me expressly that he couldn’t remember then all of a sudden dropped the bombshell. I guess I feel a bit despondent. While I haven’t known the numbers, I suppose I’ve been able to be a little more optimistic. Now that I know, well, I guess I hadn’t considered that our slim chance was so so super slim.

We talked a bit last night about our options. Obviously if things don’t happen naturally we would absolutely consider ivf or iui as our first option. Failing that, it’s a donor or adoption.

I know I might seem like I’m jumping the gun but I’m a planner, a bit ocd, I like to know my options. I’m a proactive person, if I want something I want to know all the ways I can achieve it, and have a bit of a backup plan in case plan a doesn’t work. It completely freaks me out that so much of this is out of my hands, there’s really not much I can do to affect the outcome.

Obviously we’re doing the right things with regards to diet, cutting back on booze, I’m taking folic acid etc. Been reading studies about lycopene and their positive effect on male fertility, it’s something we’re considering trying. I’ve also heard about something called cervical cups, where you collect your sperm in a weird little cup, essentially like you would in a condom, and place the cup next to your cervix, as you would a diaphragm. I think the theory is that it puts the sperm closer to your cervix and keeps it there.

I feel like my head is just full of all kinds of randomness about babies and conceiving and fertility. It’s all consuming at the moment, I feel confused and uncertain about a lot of things. Ultimately we both want a family, and I suppose that’s the thing to keep in mind.

I appreciate that this might not make much sense or appear to be in any kind of order, I just need to get things out of my head, and there’s plenty more to come in the next couple of days I think.

Xx