Survey Sunday (Although it's Thursday, because the person who's supposed to look for surveys to do, which I steal has been slacking. You know who you are. in Stolen surveys.

How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else?
My eyes sting like acid as the tears start to flow, my body starts shaking as if I was a black man being tazered by a cop, while fists are in the air crying to go “WHY WHY WHY WHY?????? Then I look for my trusty rusty razor to start cutting cutting cutting to replace the great emotional pain with a physical one that I can handle so much easier.
Then I take my torn and battered self to the computer and write some EMO shit on a poetry website.

Buuuuwaaah ha ha ha haha ha. Actually, I couldn’t give a shit, unless the picture was of them doing some serious weird kinky sex thing. Then I’d jerk off to it.

What’s your favorite TV show?
It depends on my mood, but there are some favorites. Last night I finished watching Black Sails (Pirate show) and I like it a lot. Used to love “House MD,” “Gilmore Girls,” “Hearts of Dixie,” (Oh shit, there’s a pattern here for girlie shows) quick, let me throw in “Walking Dead,” “Trailer Park Boys,” while I still have a penis left.

What song are you listening to right now?
Nothing

Why are you doing this survey and not something else?
Doing a Humanities experiment, in celebration of Black History Month, where I quit my job two months ago, and spent the last two months not doing anything. I’ve been posting on scientific internet forums claiming that I invented a bunch of stuff, and sent in for publication some history books that I’ve written, where I am the main character. So far I’ve built Atlantis, Flew around building Pyramids in Egypt, and to top it off invented Peanut Butter and the Potato Chip.
Unfortunately, I’m using person savings for this experiment, because I can’t qualify for welfare due to actually having some real working skills.

Where do you work at?
I’m a professional protester. Soon to be protesting for Bernie Sandars, the only candidate who claims he can keep in my Jet Set life style.

Do you get really annoyed at sex questions?
I love them. I GOT STORIES TO TELL.

Did you ever join a gym to look hot and get back at an ex bf/gf?
Yes, yes I did, and it worked awesome.

If you’re not in college, why?
I’d just waste time trying to learn and shit.

Would you ever try a Krabby Patty?
Yes, if she’s hot and willing.

Do you know what the Mile High Club is?
I know, but not a member at this time.

Have you ever seen The Wedding Singer?
Yes, it’s pretty good.

If you could do anything right now, what would it be?
Kick her in the tailbone then run away laughing.

Do you get mad or get even?
The best revenge is living well. Since I can’t do that, I do the next best thing
and not give a shit.

What brand of makeup do you wear?
I’m a guy!
So, Avon for men obviously.

Are you hiding something from someone?
My penis from my eyes. It’s hidden somewhere under my stomach.
I hope it’s still there.

Do you know what a Muse is?
Yes, it’s two or more mouses, but less then a bunch of mice.

Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic?
Believe it or not, yes.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A few here and there, but tend to only wear just two pair

Do you watch movies?
Yes, but only to learn about the real world.

Do you like surveys?
Of course. It lets me talk about the greatest and most interesting subject on earth.
ME.

**1) What is your favorite room of your living space? Why?
Bedroom. I like to sleep.

2) What do you wear when you are lounging at home?
Butt naked in the summer, and sweats in the winter.

3) Do you sleep with one blanket or many blankets?
Two comforters.

4) Slippers or socks?
Depends on who’s wearing them at the time.

5) What do you do right before you go to sleep?
I close my eyes.

6) Do you fall asleep right away, or do you need something to help you sleep? like music, drugs, sex…?
Last three years I tend to fall asleep fast, so I don’t need anything but quiet.

7) What is the FIRST thing you do when you wake up?
Open my eyes.

8) Breakfast or no breakfast?
Breakfast. Three times or more a day.

9) What do you usually have for lunch?
Breakfast.

10) Do you watch t.v. in the morning?
Nah, in the morning (if I’m not working) I check up on the newest porn posts
on my favorite porn sites.

11) Shower or bath?
Neither this month. Celebrating Black History month! Waiting on
evil white do gooders to come drill me a Well.

12) Do you make the bed every morning, or just leave it?
My bed came already made when I bought it, and it hasn’t fallen apart, so no
need to make a new one. This is a dumb question. If you have to make a bed
every morning, maybe you should stop buying shitty Chinese ones, and get an Amish built one.

13) What helps you get going in the morning?
I don’t need to get going in the morning, except for the 1st of the monf, when da check be comin in so I can afford to get my weaves tightened.

14) Do you set an alarm or wake up another way?
I set off a few alarms. Stupid people and their security systems, but I didndu nuffin.

15) Do you have any rituals you perform before you leave your home for the day?
Just the usual. Put on slippers, go to the living room, draw the ol inverse pentagram on the floor, turn counter clock wise while reciting, “Open wide the gates of Hell, come forth Satan, Lucifer, Asmodeus, Leviathan, protect me from my enemies and rip out their fucking hearts and eat their babies, Amen.” As you do.

1) What color are your walls?:
Dark brown. Was red before the blood dried.

2) What color is your bedspread/sheets?
Dried sperm.

3) What color is your floor ? Different in each room.
Dark brown, with some chalk marks in the living room.

4) Any posters/bulletin boards/designs in your house ?
Why do you want to know this?? The Nazi symbol is actually from ancient times
you know. Stop picking on me!!

Do you have a TV ?
Don’t need one. I just watch it through the window of a few of my friends from here,
when I visit them at night.

6) Do you have a phone?:
Yes!! Thank you Obama!!

7) Do you have your own computer?:
I do once I do the sexual favors for my cell mate, and he let’s me use it.

8) Do you have a desk?:
Several Blue Ray ones, and some regular HD ones.

9) What are your most treasured belongings ?
The bones of Jesus and Joseph I bought at auction when I visited Israel.
They come in handy when I do some serious destruction rituals.

11) Do you have any fancy lights in your house.
Yes, just about every night when the bitch calls the cops on me for some made up shit. There’s red ones, blue ones, sometimes green ones swirling around…then once the taser hits it’s all black for awhile.
BITCH!!

Last updated February 11, 2016