19st in Hey, buddy, got a light?

Winter should just not exist in Central California. Oh also, look both ways when you’re jaywalking. Some guy died on the main street outside my block. When I was walking home, they’d moved the body to the sidewalk, right in my path.
NO, RETA-..READER, I COULD NOT HAVE JUST CROSSED THE STREET, DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND BEAURACRACY? THERE WAS LIKE A GORILLION COPS OUT THERE JUST STANDING NEXT TO ROAD FLARES AND WAVING TRAFFIC AWAY.
Anyway, no I couldn’t have just crossed the street. So, I kept walking, and I started seeing these CSI type markers. Yellow triangles numbered 1 through a million.
Holy shit is that it-, that’s it, it’s a body right under that tarp, bruh, sheeeeit. “FREEZE! DON’T MOVE!”
To my credit, I had been politely trying to get their attention, but the only way I could do so was by walking further into their scene. The csi guys eye’ing me like “YOU GOTDANG CIVILIAN FUCKBAG, I’M TRYIN TO DO SCIENCE HERE”
They looked at the bottom of my shoes and surmised I didn’t compromise their shit.
So there’s that. How’re YOU though? I don’t ask that enough, I’m truly and for seriously interested, too.
Ok, I have a feeling I didn’t explain WHY I couldn’t just walk on the other side of the street that well.
Clovis is like Mayberry, but stupider. Clovis PD are like Andy & Barn’ on roids and bored as fuck. So when I left the house earlier and tried to walk down the street I got the usual “UH I’LL HAVE TO CHECK WITH MY SUPERIORS, SIR” BS. “UH YEAH, TEN TWENTY, THIS IS EAGLER NINER FIVE SEVEN, GOT A GUY HERE WHO NEEDS TO COME THROUGH, OVER”
“..NO, SORRY, SIR YOU HAVE TO GO AROUND.”
I LIVE right here, I’m not walking all the way around.
And then another cop shows up but thankfully this one had half a brain “Let him through, pedestrian traffic is fine, vehicles are not.”
THERE, I HOPE I ESPLAINED THAT ALL NICE & PRECISE FOR JOO’, LUCY.

merry christmas, fuck that happy holidays and seasons greetings shit. im a good catholic boy and i will wish you a merry christmas and a feliz navidad until they make it illegal.