12 PM
I have not written for a while, to be honest nothing important has happened. My sister came over yesterday, not my good one but the other one and my mother and her swapped pain pills because they each like the others pain medication. I can tell my sister is addicted to them because she has been on them for years, I understand that she has a lot of pain due to her mesh thing inside and not everything has gone well but still. Now she has a pain pump inside that gives her morphine. She is really jealous of me, she doesn’t understand what I go through and when she found out that I was on disability she said “Oh maybe I should go to SS and say I am depressed.” it was something like that, it has been a while. We don’t really like each other but can somehow muster enough effort to tolerate each other around company. We have seriously grew apart and I don’t think that bridge can be mended because both of us are too damn stubborn to even make the effort.
I have started watching supernatural over again and am on season 2. I really love this show, this is the best television show I have ever seen. For a while now I have been getting small headaches every now and then and also sometimes random pains like a throbbing pain but like something is pushing out of my head type of feeling. I am worried about this but I cannot get it checked out and I cannot do anything about it because I have no money. Every day of this month has been depression (except for yesterday and today form what I can tell) usually pretty bad depression. I have not called the Midplains (the mental health place) because honestly I really didn’t want to. I don’t know.
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