5:20 PM
I don’t know why I should be surprised at the response to the Paris terrorist attacks by clueless ignorant people. All people are doing is blaming ALL Muslims for the attacks, they are attacking their mosques, attacking people suspected of being a Muslim. It is just so disgusting and they don’t even recognize that Christianity is just as bad - This coming from a Christian Deist. I use to think the the world could be saved and that humanity could be saved. I don’t harbor any good feelings about humanity anymore, I am just so disgusted. This world is so rotten, and with so many rotten people.
Getting away from that, my depression came back today for many reason, which include what I said above and also my mother is sick again. I went to go get supper and I wanted to stop at a Coffee place to get myself some Coffee, well all my mother wanted was a malt and I said ok and then she said well Roy (fucking loser of a step father) if he wanted one and I just gave her the nastiest look, I just got so mad, so very angry because I have only 2 spots in my car for drinks and that would mean I wouldn’t get my coffee, and with everything going on of course I just got so angry. I stopped at the coffee place first and got my coffee and a drink carrier and headed to Wendy’s then on the way back I spilled my coffee in my car because of the stupid drink carrier and that made me even more pissed.... I just want to hit my head on the wall till I cannot even think anymore. Having BPD sucks, just like that my whole mood and even personality just changes and for the stupidest reasons.
I cannot go to the gym today because I have really bad blisters on my feet and I can hardly walk with shoes on because they end up hurting so bad. I just don’t even know what to think anymore. For anyone reading this don’t bother to comment about my anger episode (about supper, the coffee, and the malts) I do recognize that it is wrong so get off my back and yes I do realize how much of a hypocrite I am. 
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