This is what 63,504,000 seconds feels like ♥ in In My World

The clock just turned over to 2 am and I find myself in a familiar sense of an emotion I can’t quite grasp. I guess you could call it nostalgia or perhaps overthinking but right now it doesn’t really matter what you want to call it. If you watched Inuyasha I’d tell you that this feeling was the sound in episode 13 (Yes, I know the exact episode and can quote most of it by heart) when Inuyasha is telling Kagome that she smells good. It’s the sun after the rain. The slow warm breeze on a summer night. It’s the chill of fall with the smell of pumpkin in the air. It’s finishing the last spot in your coloring page. It’s pushing your face into your pets fur after being away for a while. It’s longing deeply for that one person to be by your side right this second, just so you can bask in their existence. It’s hearing a song for the first time and having the words resonate with you. It’s laughing around a fire because the power is out. It’s hot cocoa on a cold day. It’s building snowmen with your siblings at 4 years old. Running through a sprinkler and jumping in a pool. It’s putting on fuzzy socks for the first time. Most importantly, it’s laying down beside the one you love after a long day, and even though they are already asleep they reach out for you just to pull you close to them.

It’s love.

In the car on the way back from boyfriend and I’s road trip Thursday night, I found myself wanting to write so badly. All I could think about was how nice it was to be listening to him singing along to the music, one hand on the wheel and the other on my thigh. I know he’d steal glances at me at all the stoplights, I’d see his smile when he turned to watch the road. This was only for a little while as I was in a ranty/bitchy mood and he was just stressed about life. That moment, no matter how short it may have been, will sit with me for a while, I’m sure.

We’ve been dating a solid 2 years and 5 days now. That’s 735 days, 1,058,400 minutes, 63,504.000 seconds. (Provided that google actually gives you correct answers.) That’s so crazy to me! My longest relationship before this was 9 months. I whispered to him one night, our 10 month anniversary, that if he was to stay with me for a year or longer, we’d be together forever. Here we are another year later and he’s still just as happy to be with me as he was in the beginning…and so am I! Though we may not live together just yet, we have a dog together, and we’re a cute little family.

There’s also a good chance we’ll be moving to an apartment in June or July…It won’t be just us, but we’ll have our own bedroom and bathroom. I’m both excited and incredibly nervous about it…Like what if this is the thing that breaks us apart. I know that it won’t, and it makes logical sense to me that we’ve been through worse and that this is going to be a cakewalk, but I can’t help but be afraid. Insecure I guess is the best way to describe it… Like, New college, new (and first) apartment, new job, unfamiliar town where I only know about 4 people, and on top of that we’ll be moving in together. I suppose only time will tell how things will work out, and I’m sure we’ll be better for it <3

Did I mention that it’s been 2 years yet? Because I’m still absorbing the enormity of that statement. I am dating the most magnificent, charming, and completely amazing person that I have ever met…and I couldn’t be happier.

He is exactly the person I want to spend the rest of my days with. He is always there when I need him to be (except right now because he fell asleep early like a meanybutt). He knows just what to do to make me feel better, which usually consists of “come here, babygirl” and hugging me as tight as he can. He knows what I need sometimes better than I do. I am more comfortable being myself around him than any other male I’ve ever met, and more than any person minus a friend or two. I can just be 100% me around him and he never judges me or looks down on me for any of it. No matter how weird I am, he accepts me for being everything I am. He never asks me to change or act any differently. He cooks me macaroni and cheese at 2AM. He lets me pick the music when we drive places. He helps me out with any and everything that he can. We work together. We grow together. We coexist in the best of ways. He gives me all of himself, and I do the same. We are so good together. And in the quiet moments, when we’re all alone, maybe watching a movie or playing a video game, he’ll whisper “I love you” in my ear and it’s like hearing it for the first time all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, we have our fair share of fights and problems, but we always talk through them. He knows me inside and out, every flaw, insecurity, fear, hope, dream, and wish. He understands why I act the way I act. He knows when he needs to order for me and when I can do it myself. He still sits on the same side of the booth as me because he knows I need him to be closer. Honestly, I talk about him like he hung the stars in the sky, and he can’t see any of it. In his eyes he is just this insignificant person, but to me he is the world. He’s the one I want to come home to, to cook with, to have a home with, to raise a family with, and possibly the most important of all, I want to wake up and see him beside me every morning until the end of time. And to think I used to blush endlessly just because he’d call me cute, or smile at me a certain way.

I must be the luckiest girl in the world, because I have found the person that I am absolutely, head-over-heals, insanely, unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with....and he loves me all the same. <3

P.S. Even after 2 years whenever we spend the night together and I get up to do something, long after he’s fallen asleep, he always and without fail wakes up just enough to pull be back to him. He doesn’t have any memory of it, but I do. I do.

It’s 2:47 now and I need to be getting to bed…but I just wanted to say again how great this is, and how lucky I am. In this, the month of thanksgiving, I find myself most thankful for all the ways my boyfriend is there for me. All the ways he loves me. All the ways he is mine.

Goodnight, prosebox. <3 I hope you have sweet dreams and a vast amount of love to go around.