21 in Diary

Today I spent 3 or 4 hours reading through my story. A lot of it was skimming, but the later chapters especially I read thoroughly. Once I got through chapter 20, I prepared to start chapter 21, only to discover it was almost done. Heh. I guess I’d forgotten about that one. In any case, I took about an hour and finished up 21, printed it out, put the pages in plastic sheet protectors, and added it to the big stack. Even though I didn’t spend much time actually writing, it felt good to put another chapter behind me. And just the fact that I did anything other than waste my time playing video games or drinking felt really good. Tomorrow I can start fresh on chapter 22. Yay! At long last, it’s time to bring Carmen back into the story.

I’m scared I’m up a creek without a paddle here, but it’s too late to turn back now. No matter what, I am going to finish this thing. Recently I listened to a motivational podcast by Dee Snider on podcastone (episode 14) that focused on the power of having a positive mental attitude, and thanks to him, I found the courage to push through my fear and tackle this project again. Listening to him say a lot of people talk about writing a book but almost no one does it lit a fire in me, a bit, I must say. I was thinking, well hell, I’m 80,000 words into this thing… What is more pathetic than talking about writing a book and never doing it, or writing most of a book and then letting it die because you’re afraid of failure?

One word at a time. That’s how I’m going to approach the rest of this project. Dee also mentioned the movie What About Bob? and the importance of taking baby steps. I don’t know about you, but the only way I can change anything in my life for the better is to take one small step at a time in the direction I want to go. This applies to goals, breaking bad habits, everything.

It’s almost 1 AM. I’d like to say I’m starting to feel tired, but I’m not tired at all. I’m going to work on a huge build I’m doing in Minecraft while watching and listening to this couple on youtube do the same for a couple hours, then I’ll see where I’m at. I don’t plan on staying up literally all night like I did last night, even if I have to force myself to go to bed, because I really want to wake up early enough I can jump right into writing. Or reading. I think I’ll read first. A chapter of Salt and a chapter or two of The Wind Through The Keyhole (Stephen King’s wife has a different name for that book :). After that, I’ll write as much as I can.

Thanks for all the nice notes about the kidney stone. I’m feeling a lot better. I think the pain I was feeling was coming from being torn up from the stone that passed. Every day I have improved. So all is swell. Take care, everyone. I’ll write again soon.

Last updated September 09, 2015