I’ve been home all day just watching tv, took a nap and had very little contact with anyone. No reason, just everyone was doing their own thing and this is my last free day until next Sunday. I got my laundry done because my new (used) work shirts smelled musty and one of them had cat hair on it, gross. I got laundry done and even hung some stuff outside to dry because it was 90 degrees so things dried massively quick.
My friend called and was upset that other people knew where my new job was before her so I told her. I’m not going to hide it from anyone out of fear that someone will try and sabotage it. I can’t live my life that way. Whatever happens, happens but I’m not going to live in constant fear of other people trying to make problems for me. She is happy for me because there’s already so many good things about this place and it makes me fee good that people are supportive of what I’m doing and where I choose to work.
The last 2 days have gone pretty fast and it’s bittersweet. I’ve had a lot of time to think and rest, but I’m also glad to be getting back into work mode because as much as I love hanging out at home, I’m honestly getting bored!!! I’m definitely ready to get back to work and start putting money back in the bank! I have plenty of bills to pay and I’m ready to start having spending money again as well. It’s going to be a good thing and it’s nice to know that I’ve finally broke away from that terribly place and all the people that I couldn’t stand.
I just keep thinking about how this has been a long time coming and I know it’s what’s best for me. That place wasn’t what was best for me and I’m so glad that I never have to step foot in either location ever again. It’s going to be so nice to be in a completely different place for work and know that I’m in a better place mentally, physically, and emotionally. I never again have to worry about that fucking bitch that inevitably ran me off due to personal issues and emotions, never again will I have to walk on eggshells around the GM, deal with knowing I’m never going to get a raise and have to be constantly worried I’m going to get fired over some bullshit.
As nervous as I am, I know I’ll be just fine. The hardest part is meeting everyone and hoping they like me. I know that I’m a lot more talkative and outgoing than I used to be so I don’t think it’ll be that hard. I will have to answer the phone of course so I’m just worried that I won’t get it right away but I did this exact same job for almost 2 years so I know I’ll probably catch on pretty quick, I just don’t give myself enough credit. I worked at a motel for 8 hours and pretty much had it down within the first 2 hours and they thought I did great so this shouldn’t be too bad.
I’m just anxious to get there and get the first few minutes of awkwardness over with. I know I’ll be fine until I get in the car and I’m driving there, then the nervousness will hit me but to know that I’ll make more money, will get raises and the place seems a helluva lot more organized, it provides a lot of comfort. The GM seems pretty cool and I already feel like I can talk to him like he’s a normal person and that already makes me at ease.
Neither of the Matts have contacted me today and I’ve actually gone through my contacts and deleted a lot of people, including both of them. I’m probably going to be changing my number in the next few days because now that I’ve gotten away from that shit hole, I don’t want to be in contact with anyone that still works there. I just want to be completely done with that place and it’s entirety. I’ve already deleted a bunch of them off Facebook and want them and that dump to be just a memory. None of them have even contacted me in the past 2 weeks so that lets me know I wasn’t as well liked as I thought I was.
I’m just so glad that I’m starting something new and leaving that place. I have more bad memories there than I have good ones and it’s actually crazy that I stuck it out as long as I did, especially knowing there’s plenty of other places where I’d be the same exact thing but be paid better. I sold myself short because I was afraid of the unknown and because of my social anxiety but with what happened the other day with that bitch was the push I needed to broaden my horizons and realize I don’t have to stay there. I will miss being in a place where I knew everyone but I’ll have that with the new place probably quicker than what I realize.
Everyone that’s gotten out of there has found other jobs and seem to be doing just fine. All of them that I’ve talked to have NO PLANS to ever go back to that dump either. I think it’s hilarious that they are on Facebook advertising to fill positions because I’m sure by now word has gotten around town about what kind of place it is and how shitty the pay is. They can’t keep people because at the end of the day, all they care about is money. I know that’s most places but this one takes the fucking cake. They didn’t fix the air conditioning because they didn’t want to have to pay someone to figure out what was wrong with it and then pay for it to run everyday! They also didn’t mind if we were short handed because that way they saved on labor!
So I’ve taken my last Tylenol PM and a Tramadol so I will be able to sleep tonight. I know I’m nervous and I’m scared it’s going to keep me awake so I had to make sure I’ll get sleep because I don’t want to get there and be exhausted because I wasn’t able to sleep. I know I’m nervous but I think I’m making too big of a deal out of it in my head. They are just people, it’s not like they are going to pinch me or yell at me if I do something wrong. I think I’m just used to super judgmental people so I’m always afraid of making a mistake.
All I know is I’m ready to get in there and start making money. I’m so glad that I finally got a job, one that I am actually interested in and I start tomorrow at 4pm. The other place finally called me today but I already found something. I was sick of them stringing me along and didn’t even know if I’d hear from them so it’s their own bad. The lady would email me every couple of days asking when would be a good time for her to call and I’d respond and didn’t hear back until today, their loss. It was a place with a decent hourly wage but it wasn’t really something I wanted to do because it would have required me to get up early as fuck every morning (5am) and work with different types of people. I would have had to take it if I wouldn’t have found the job I found but I’m glad that I don’t have to now.
I’m going to lay down and watch tv and just think about how lucky I am to finally be in a better place and know that I’ll be just fine. Things are going to be okay, finally. Thank you God for making me open my eyes to that crazy, ridiculous place and giving me a better chance!!!
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