After feeling like I could move on and things were getting better, all of the sudden they started to get worse. I can't seem to get my mind off him. Of course it was then made even harder when he contacted me. I had tweeted something like "missing the ex is the worst feeling." And he happened to give in and read my twitter right at that time.
Being without him feels wrong. I even broke down and told him I'm done being broken up, this is bullshit. It feels wrong. Time is supposed to make it get better, not make it worse. We have been chatting through texts for a few days and yesterday his grandfather died. He was going to fly my airline to go to the funeral. There were so many empty seats, and he is still on my benefits for work because we can't change the person until January, so of course I asked him if he wanted it fly free.
Seeing him is probably a bad decision, but he will be at the airport when I am leaving work, so I think I want it see him...
He said that he's been thinking of me a lot, but he won't really tell me how he feels. I told him I was miserable without him and that it felt like he was dealing with this so much better than I am. He said that I didn't really know how he felt because he didn't tell me. That's true...maybe I shouldn't be telling him how I feel. I'm still fighting for this, because I think it is worth fighting for.
What needs to happen is I need to pull myself together so that when I see him, I don't cry. That is what needs to happen. He hates it when I cry.
My dad keeps telling me that I need to have faith that God will work it out the way it is supposed to work out. I use to be the faith filled one in the family...but I think I have lost some of it through being disappointed. It makes me sad. Dad also said if I were reading my bible I wouldn't feel this way. I don't think that is true, But it's worth a shot.
Loading comments...