It's Lonely Where You Are... in Just Moments

~I think I know what my biggest flaw is… I care too much. I always get hurt from caring too much. The people who are really close to me in my life, I really care for, love if that’s what you want to call it. I care so deeply that I repeatedly get hurt by the same people, I let them use me and abuse me before I finally can’t stand it anymore and I go into self destructive mode and then finally break free from them. It’s a never ending cycle. I just keep making the same mistakes, just different people. and guess what?? Those other people must not have shared the same feelings I did because when I finally do walk away I never hear from them again. They don’t try to get me back they don’t wish for me to come back into their lives. And yet I allow this to happen. I’m not really sure if I can fix this in any way… Its just the way I am. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

~In other words G and I have been pretty good until today… I don’t know what’s up. Maybe its nothing maybe its something. I’m not sure. I’m just trying to not focus on it but I can’t do that. I just can’t. So I’m not sure what to do. I love him and I always will no matter what. Even if he leaves me I will always love him. That’s the way I am… So yeah

~I’m really lonely now. Even though nothing has changed I feel all alone. Makes no sense. So I’m just one confused girl now… Wish me luck…