So I just showered. I really hope I make some decent money tonight. I’m also incredibly sick of being broke on my days off. If I’m lucky, I make what money I need for my bills and then broke for 3 fucking days. I just can’t keep doing this. I’m going to get an application for that place I want to work at. I ain’t going to keep living like this.
But yeah, I was in the shower thinking about my BD and looking back, I honestly wish everyone would have just stayed the fuck out of it and when I was done, they could have just let me be done. He saw her when she was born and then didn’t see her again until she was 3 months old. He made that visit miserable and I WANTED to just be done with it then. Everyone kept convincing me that he deserved chance after chance but every time I had any contact with him, all he fucking did was be abusive.
I don’t know if I’m ever going to let go of how he’s treated me because it went on for so long. It was never about him seeing his child and wanting to do right by her. The whole game was him abusing me for as long as I’d allow. I just don’t know how anyone around me could read the messages he sent me and STILL feel like he should be around. No, the contact should have stopped and he could have taken me to court and got supervised visits. I endured so much abuse and I’ll never forget it.
It just pisses me off that he threatened me and called me names any time there was contact and people STILL felt that he should get every chance to just keep doing it. He didn’t give a fuck about seeing his child or being in her life. He cared about trying to move in with me, used me for rides and acted like I fucking owed him something! It’s just bullshit because I do wonder if people actually cared about him being a Dad or they liked the drama. I’m still unsure. I don’t think anyone cared how I felt and the sadness I carried around with me everyday while raising a baby alone.
There was days where I truly thought I was going to break. There was nights I would cry myself to sleep. I didn’t even feel human anymore and never had a moment to myself. I was left to figure it all out and withstand being called names and torn down any time there was contact and yet, I was never considered and neither was my mental health. I know I suffered from PPD and no one seemed to consider that either. I never had help with her unless she was at daycare. The only break I got was after I dropped her off and drove to work.
I believe that men like this have babies on purpose. They pick someone that they know is stable and can do it on their own and have someone tied to them. He’s always mentioned over the years that my daughter could have other siblings and he’s talked about it recently. I do wonder if there could be some kind of truth to it and that’s why he hasn’t gotten a job. It just means another CS payment. He has no problem creating children and leave them behind. I really hope he doesn’t have any more children. No one deserves to go through what I did. It’s sad when men just run around and create broken homes and don’t have to take any responsibility for it.
Sometimes I wonder if people liked that he abused me. I think they liked hearing about it. My brother has never liked me and I’ve done shitty things to my friend back when so I think they enjoyed what I went through. It felt like people cared more about his side than mine. Even my brother would sit there and defend his abuse. No one was in my corner like I needed them to be. It’s crazy how people will sit there and criticize a single Mom but not the man that put her in the predicament.
I’m just glad that things have definitely calmed down over time. I’ve developed a very thick skin and I don’t ever respond immediately or at all. I think since we had court a year ago and he still hasn’t gotten his shit together, he knows he ain’t ever going to get this where he wants it. Since we had court, he hasn’t threatened it once. He’s threatened parental kidnapping and a mediator though. Uh ok well how do you be absent for almost 10 years and not pay CS but threaten ANYTHING!?
If I would have had my way about it, I would have cut all contact when she was 3 months old and if he wanted to be a present Dad, he could have taken me to court and let a judge decide what’s best for my child. I will never think it was a good thing to try and reason why an abusive asshole. If you can’t reasonably communicate with your co-creator, there’s no way your family or friends will either. Don’t ever ask anyone to be in the middle.
There was never going to be a co-parenting situation. There was never ever going to be a civil conversation. The abuse went on far longer than it should have and that’s because everyone felt the need to keep communicating with him. I was fixing to change my number and stop talking to everyone because I didn’t want to hear what he said about me anymore. I was so tired of hearing the negative and being called names and how I was such a terrible person when I was the one taking care of her by myself every day and paying for all her expenses on top of all my fucking bills!
If a man has nothing going for him he’s going to tear you down. That’s how they stay up. If you can’t get along with someone and all they do is say hurtful things, you need to cut them out of your life. If this is your BD, cut contact and wait for court. Don’t sit there and think you need to just accept the abuse because court is scary. No it’s not.
I know that I took the abuse for quite some time because I was scared that if we went to court and got a custody on paper, he’s just going to use it to abuse me further. Well, he’s a total piece of shit that couldn’t even get parenting time. I think people like this are more about mind control than a piece of paper. They want to control your mind and once they can’t, they are going to run to the courtroom. The courtroom is an abuser’s playground where that’s their last ditch effort to get control on paper. It’s not about the kids at all. It’s about having control and access to you. Without it, they’re nothing.
He wanted 50/50 on paper to get into a low income apartment and food stamps. Basically he wanted it so our daughter could take care of him without him ever taking care of her. He really thought after we went to court that he was going to intimidate me with parental kidnapping to get me to forgive the arrears. That never happened. That money is owed to my daughter and even if I never see another dollar, I’m never forgiving it. How the fuck do you leave someone to raise a kid and you don’t contribute a fucking thing to their upbringing but then decide almost 8 years later you are ready for the responsibility to have them 50% of the time when you just started working again, you don’t have a car or a stable place to live?
I honestly want to understand what goes on in the minds of some people. You can’t take care of anyone if you can’t take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty glass. You can’t just decide years after you’ve had a child that maybe now you’re ready to do the right thing. If you hadn’t decided that before they were born, you DON’T get to decide that when they’re almost 8! That’s selfish as fuck! I remember even my friend saying that.
Even if he would have gotten 50/50, he would have used her to get an apartment and food stamps but still wouldn’t have a been a Dad so how long does he think that would work until I called and reported him for welfare fraud? You think you’re going to continue being a deadbeat on my watch? I think the fuck not. I could absolutely have seen him getting into a free apartment, food stamps and still not be a Dad and then he wouldn’t have to work because the apartment is funded by the government and I wouldn’t have allowed it.
He was trying so hard to fuck me even further than he already has and I thank God every fucking day that it didn’t happen. I could imagine that had their been a custody order in writing, that he’d still only see her when he wanted and dip out for months at a time and then as soon as I’d mention his absence, he’d be quick to say, “there’s a court order” and I’d be like, “yeah and there was 8 months ago when you went MIA too” so yeah I definitely would never see anything good from having a court order.
I do believe men like this have babies just to have someone to abuse for 18 years. I’m definitely grateful that he’s the unstable person that he is and continues to be. It also works in my favor that in my state, both parents have to agree to 50/50. I never will. He’s emotionally unstable and doesn’t care about my child other than to use her as an informant and a spy so he can weaponise any and all information he can get. I know he’s pissed that he’s never gotten much information but it’s like why do you care? Why the fuck are you so obsessed with my personal life?
You seriously never a know a man until you’ve lived with him or had a baby with him. You definitely see sides of people that you didn’t even think are possible. It is seriously traumatizing. I’m happy to just be by myself because I have a lot of things I need to work on and I want to do that so I can have better relationships later and have more confidence where I need it.
My daughter is in the bath. I’m leaving for work in about 3 hours. I’m sad that she doesn’t feel good but it’s just a cold. I’m sure if it’s dead I’ll be leaving early which sucks because I left early last night and I don’t want my check to be short. I’m going to start paying half my rent each check so that I’ll have some money left over.
I’m just so grateful to shower everyday, wear clean clothes, my car runs good, we have what we need and I don’t ask anyone for a fucking thing. I have a lot to smile about and life is a lot more positive than it ever has. I’m truly thankful.
I have a phone number for counseling and I need to call and make an appointment. I want to get my daughter and myself into counseling. I truly think after everything, it’s time to talk to someone with a degree to help. I know I got a lot of shit I need to deal with. My daughter misses counseling and I want to find someone for her.
It’s just hard to think that everyone is abusive. Is it possible to just find emotionally safe people? Where you can trust their word and their behavior? I definitely see everything and everyone in a different light after everything that’s happened. I know that I’m not the perfect person but I do want to understand why I went through what I did.
I don’t have any faith in humanity. I think people love drama and don’t care how shit affects you as a person. I know my best friend definitely tries very hard to have empathy and warns me before sending me certain things but most people don’t care if something was to wreck you. People want to see you spiral. I also think people intentionally provoke you.
One of my issues is everyone acts like I don’t work and if I do, my job is of no importance. I remember the other day when I had to drive all over Hell because my friend decided to take kids swimming and then she was annoyed that I didn’t stay. Um, well because like previously mentioned I have to go to work and have to be there in less than an hour? Like WTF! That’s why I needed her to watch my kid? I don’t think she believed anything. She always made me feel like I had to over explain everything.
I’m probably one of the most honest people on the planet. I have NOTHING to hide. I will shoot you straight every time. Every feeling I’ve ever felt is real. Everything I tell anyone is real. I can’t handle being made to feel like a liar. I may be a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them. I’m an open book and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But I think after having my feelings used against me, I am going to be more closed off.
The other day I was thinking about all the things my friend had promised me and my daughter. Right after we got back, she said she’d co-sign my car so I could remove his name. That never happened. Then she said she was going to pay off my credit cards. That never happened. I wonder now if it’s because she felt that she wouldn’t be able to control me like she wanted if she had. I think she offered shit and then didn’t do it because she felt she wouldn’t have been able to control or emotionally manipulate me if she did.
She offered me her SUV when we were going to get our stuff and then I asked her about it a couple of days before we left and that was another time she got rude to the point of emotionally abusive. Like anytime I’d ask about stuff she offered, I noticed the pattern of her becoming abusive about it. Why offer shit to begin with? I remember even saying yeah that’s okay I’ll just have to limit what I bring back because I’m not going to be able to fit everything in my car and I didn’t. That’s why I left so much behind. I just don’t get why people make you think they are going to help but then they don’t and you are just to forget about it.
I get to replace a lot of my stuff too. I did replace my air fryer but I didn’t get everything I wanted simply because I didn’t have the room. It’s a huge blow thinking I was going to take a bigger vehicle and then was not only told no, but she got rude as all hell about it too.
It’s also really interesting how she’d offer stuff and then if she didn’t want to anymore, she’d put it on her husband. It’s funny how she did things behind his back though. I wonder just how much he’s been manipulated too. I think he’s been made to believe that I was out to use her because she failed to mentioned that she OFFERED all the shit that she did. At least now I don’t have to care what he thinks. I do believe that God removes people from your life because he heard conversations you didn’t.
I am still pretty hung up on the fact that they were sitting there talking shit about me while my kid was present. I don’t give a fuck if she had headphones on or not. I have NEVER once talked shit about anyone with kids present. I don’t think you could get any more disrespectful than that. If you don’t want to help me or watch my kid, don’t but my kid doesn’t need to hear you bashing me. I’m my daughter’s strength, love, and stability. Like are you trying to influence her opinion of me? Like again this is why I say she lacks emotional intellect like a motherfucker. I don’t give a fuck how much money you have and how great you think you are, you ain’t shit when you are ugly on the outside as well as in!
It’s like my daughter telling me that she saw my Mom text someone saying how she has no freedom because she always ‘stuck’ watching my kid. Um, that’s not okay. How the fuck do you think that would make my daughter feel? If you didn’t want to watch her, you didn’t have to. I even asked her all the time if she wanted me to change my schedule so she didn’t have to on Saturdays and kept saying, “I got her, it’s fine” and that was another one of those times where clearly it wasn’t and honestly would have been appreciated. I don’t appreciate someone telling me it’s good but they don’t mean it!
I know eventually my daughter will text my Mom and tell her she’s home alone. I know she won’t waste any time verifying with me if it’s true and she’ll be on the phone with the police. Once this happens, I promise she will never hear from us again. If you aren’t even adult enough to reach out to me and verify the information you are getting is accurate and choose to try and involve police then I have no need to ever contact you again. I think the cops will be called simply because I don’t need her anymore, she can’t weaponise my child and she doesn’t get to hear any of my tea. It’s funny the other day that she text me saying that I’m selfish that I keep my daughter from her but doesn’t bother to ask how she’s doing or what I’ve figured out for a sitter. But I’m selfish. Okay.
I think she likes that she’s off the hook on watching her and has worked really hard to twist this into me keeping her from my kid. Well, there’s been plenty of times that my Mom has shown me that she no no regard from my child’s physical safety around my little brother, has blatantly disregarded all my concerns and has texted plenty of things to my brother and her little man friend making me out to be the bad guy so I don’t feel she’s emotionally safe for my child. I also don’t like how she’s shown my daughter ‘ugly’ people on Facebook. Why are we teaching her to be judgmental? I don’t appreciate it.
The other day I was absolutely losing my mind worried sick that I was going to have to quit my job and she really didn’t care. Then doesn’t bother to ask me if I got something figured out but says I’m selfishly keeping my kid from her? Um, okay so here in reality I have to keep the train moving, with or without help. She offered to help but then backtracked by saying she didn’t know what her schedule would be and sometimes she’d have to go in at 5 or 7pm. Okay well I appreciate the half assed offer but I need like a solid idea for a schedule. She wanted to offer but she didn’t want to watch her. Good, cuz I didn’t want my child at her place anyways.
My Mom lives in a big apartment building and has a one bedroom. As soon as you walk in the front door, all you can smell is my little brother’s BO. I still don’t know how neighbors haven’t called and complained about the smell. Basically when you’re there, you hang out in her room with the window open to air out the smell so it’s almost tolerable. You can’t hang out in the living room because he’s either on the couch or you don’t know what he’s coming back and the couch it self reeks because that’s where he sleeps so you don’t dare sit on it. She has 2 dogs, one shits and pees all over and she’s constantly cleaning it up. It’s really gross if you are trying to eat and look over to see a pile of dog shit. These people have ALWAYS had an animal that isn’t potty trained and everywhere they’ve lived smells awful. I am hyper sensitive to smells and I honestly can’t just be somewhere that’s giving me a headache and making me throw up.
I’m sorry but I’ve never been comfortable with my daughter being there and I’m thankful she’ll never be there again. I just don’t know how people live like they do but I can’t subject my daughter to filth/stink anymore. I grew up like that and I don’t want her thinking that shit is okay or that it’s normal. I take pride in how much I clean and my place always smells amazing. I’m big on bleach in my toilet, my laundry smelling good, buying nicer cleaning products and not having animals shitting all over.
When your house stinks or is dirty, I automatically think mental illness. There’s no way normal minded people are okay with living that way. It’s like my friend. They smoke cigs and pot in their house and it’s COVERED in dog hair. The smell is absolutely insane. Like why the fuck can’t they at least open a window and try to vent it even a little bit? How do you just sit there and deal with that? Smoke outside! Clean up the fucking dog hair! She was all bragging to me the other day that her husband came home from work and cleaned the whole house but the floors were still completely covered in dog hair. So, what did he clean?!
I grew up in filth and stink. I will never live that way and I haven’t since I’ve been an adult and had my own place for the past 20 years. I don’t care if I were to get a leg cut off, my house would NEVER be filthy or smell bad. There’s no excuse. I don’t care if you’re poor. There’s no justifiable reason in the world to live like trash.
I used to keep a cleaning list everyday and do certain cleaning on certain days but now, I just do whatever needs to be done everyday. There’s never a day where I don’t clean something. Like tomorrow I need to do laundry. I washed the bedding and I don’t have enough quarters to do another load. Today I swept the kitchen, refilled the water thing for the cats, threw a bunch of shit away, did the dishes, bagged up trash and organized and put away all the stuff that was on the kitchen table. I didn’t even want my daughter to have her sleepover because I knew I would have a mess this morning. I’m honesty a neat freak and it’s because I get to be in control of my house and the way it smells/looks.
I made sure to tell my daughter earlier that I don’t want her to feel bad about those text on my Mom’s phone or my friend talking about me. I told her that I asked them if they were okay with having her and they always said yes so they should have communicated to me that it wasn’t alright. I let her know their issue is with me and not her. She likes being home alone and she knows she’s safer here than anywhere else. It just sucks that neither one of us can believe anything people say to us now.
It’s hard to understand when I asked both of them if they were good with her and if they needed me to change my work schedule and they kept telling me everything was fine. Well, again everything is fine until it ain’t. I do my absolute best to communicate with people so I don’t appreciate people telling me shit’s good when it ain’t. I’m pissed that my daughter was made to feel like shit simply because people weren’t honest with me. I’m pissed that I was made out to be the bad guy with both of these bitches when they could have just been HONEST. I think as soon as they felt overwhelmed or they felt some type of way they could have just fucking told me.
Again, everything is temporary. Shit’s good until it ain’t, people care until they don’t, people help until they don’t and that’s fine. You just adapt and make a new plan. I used to be really big on keeping things consistent for my child but I realize that the harder I tried, the more issues came from it.
It hurts to feel like I could have lost it all had I ever stood up to these people or tried to have boundaries. It hurts to know how both of them acted and no matter what they did, I’m the bad guy. It’s like I was to look past the control, abuse, and emotional manipulation because they ‘helped’ me. Well, help isn’t help when it’s like this. It’s control covered by help. That’s why I will never accept help again.
I will never be able to afford to take time off work. I don’t do anything but work and take care of my daughter. I don’t even attempt to have a life outside of my home or my job. I don’t drink, do drugs or gamble. I’m as straight laced as they come and yet, people treat me like a fucking disease. I think the way people have acted around my kid is because they lowkey don’t like me. I get when they say sometimes people won’t like your kid because they are yours. Absolutely.
I don’t feel like I’ve deserved any of this shit by people that said they ‘loved’ me and if this is their idea of love, I don’t need it. I don’t know if I ever want anyone to tell me they love me again. I associate love with abuse. I don’t even know if most people know what ‘love’ is. I think people attach themselves to you because of their need to abuse someone.
It’s going to be a very long time before I ever trust that anyone loves me or my child and I will never again believe anything people say. I can’t handle people telling me everything is okay but it’s not. I do believe that people can say they’re your friend but secretly they fucking hate you. I don’t trust anyone because this world is full of hidden agendas and motives. Trust is a very fragile thing and I don’t see myself trusting anyone ever again. I’ve been broken with trust and love too many fucking times.
It’s like I never mattered to anyone. My opinion or perspective never mattered. No one cares what my side of things are. I’ve never been heard. Even now, I’m always interrupted when I talk. It’s like I’m not supposed to have a voice or ever speak. I struggle to even feel important. It’s like I’m to just take whatever I get and never let it rattle me. Or it’s not supposed to affect my feelings or my mind or something.
People suck. That’s all I know. I just like that now I’m in control of my life when I wasn’t before. I had no say in anything and now I do. I get to call the shots in my life and it feels really good. I don’t need anyone. I don’t have to be abused anymore. I can have a voice and not worry that if I speak up, I’ll lose everything. I truly believe that everyone enjoyed the control they had over me. I don’t believe it was ever about ‘helping’ me at all, it was how long they could control me before I blew up or just gave up.
It’s like everything that was meant to break me has actually made me. I waited all these years to finally not need a sitter and it’s finally happened. I definitely wish the circumstances would have been better but everything happens the way it’s meant to. I’m grateful that my daughter is the age she is and the maturity level for this. She absolutely loves being home alone and likes just doing her own thing.
I just wish she would have been treated better. She’s completely innocent and was still treated like shit. She did nothing wrong. She told me earlier that my friends son made her sit outside far away from their house for hours and my friend didn’t care. It’s like I’m hearing more and more all the time what really went on and I definitely understand why my daughter is so happy to just be at home. So yeah, if anyone has a problem with my daughter being at home by herself, I really don’t care. It’s seriously the safest place for her.
This world is a very cold, cruel place. It truly sickens me. I’m angry more at how this has been for my daughter than myself. There is so many bad things that could have happened to her and would either my Mom or my friend taken any responsibility? Probably not. They didn’t care, definitely not like they should have. I have made sure to tell my daughter that if you are ever upset or feel uncomfortable at any time, tell me right away so I can fix it. I don’t want her to ever be in a situation where she has no control or knows she ain’t treated right and doesn’t feel like she can tell me.
I grew up being pretty silent. I still struggle to speak up sometimes. I was definitely raised by the wrong people and it’s affected me my whole life. I’m actually pretty pissed that my childhood was absolute shit. I had absolutely no control in anything as a child and it still affects me now. I can honestly say that my parents should have never been parents and I would be happy to never see or speak to either one of them again. They are both evil and need to go die off.
I’m just really disappointed in everyone. I just don’t understand why things can go so good for awhile and then end up where you will probably never speak again. I’m upset that no one takes any responsibility for the things they do or say and can’t ever think they might be in the wrong. Like it’s okay to admit to being wrong. I do it damn near everyday. I don’t feel like it makes me feel less than human so why the fuck is it so hard for other people to ever come around to the conclusion that they might be wrong about something?
My daughter took a bath earlier and tells me that my friends 10 year old son had her sitting outside on the sidewalk down the street from their house for an extended period of time and it was super hot outside. Apparently my friend was sleeping. Ok why are we leaving a 10 year old in charge of another kid when he’s gotten kicked out of school for being violent and kept putting his hands on other kids. We had no concern of my daughter getting kidnapped or hit by a car?! Like what in the unholy fuck.
I just can’t with this. Every time I turn around, my daughter is telling me more and more. I am absolutely sick. She didn’t deserve any of this.
It’s a wonder either one of us are still alive. Everyone has mistreated us both and it’s nice that neither of us have to be around these fucking people ever again. It’s just insane to think how much these people claimed to ‘love’ us and yet, look how we were treated. It doesn’t make sense. People have a really fucked up idea about what love is.
The only person that ever truly loved me and was safe was my Gramma. I know how much she loved me and I wish she was still here. I will never find that unconditional safe love again in another adult. She was the most incredible person and I could walk around this world and will never find anyone like her. Even when she was in the nursing home with dementia, she made sure we were keeping an eye on my daughter.
My gramma used to say, “this world is going to Hell in a handbasket” I’m not really sure what that means but I completely agree. They even say people have less empathy now than in the 70’s. I definitely am glad that I see life like I do.
I have to leave for work soon. I feel bad that my daughter has caught a cold and hasn’t done much but lay on the couch with her phone but I gotta go make that money. I’m still working towards my fucking car payment! This lack of money thing is sending me! I work my ass off and I just hope it’s busy tonight. My daughter wants a couple of things from the store tomorrow and I want to get a couple of things too.
The sleepover went alright. I was definitely not happy with the mess I had to pick up this morning but nothing was broken or any stains in the carpet so I’ll take that as a win. I seriously hid my makeup because I just wanted to make sure. I’m not super into having sleepovers but I’d rather kids be at my house than my daughter at someone else’s. I’m still struggling to make a decision on letting her stay somewhere because you just don’t know how other kids are raised and what kind of parents your kid would be around and I don’t trust other people.
Bad things happen to kids everyday and I don’t think it’s wrong to be protective at all. I was on Tik Tok one day and a neighbor had kids at his house and managed to rape a 5 year old girl. Like you just don’t know people and I don’t think anyone can be trusted when it comes to your kids. If people want to harm a child, they will. I’ve been watching videos about baby Preston and I just can’t even handle it. Evil comes in many forms. These people pretend to be normal but they are monsters.
Evil comes in many forms, it can even come dressed as everything you ever wanted. You just don’t know anyone like you think you do. People just don’t think it can happen to them or their children until it does. Like I don’t even agree with people who let their kids walk to school. Unless you live right next to the school and watch them from the window, it’s just not safe. I remember that little girl that walked to school for the first time and got hit by a car and died. Like just know your life can change in the blink of an eye and you can never be too careful.
It’s like these people that ‘forget’ their child in the back seat. Um no. I was a single Mom that ran on pure adrenaline for months and still never forget my kid was in the backseat! There’s no fucking excuse! I remember driving to work and remembering taking her in the daycare and pulling her out of her car seat. I had my own little ritual to make sure I knew she wasn’t in the car. You just can’t be that absent minded to forget. They say if there’s a change in your schedule or running late but still, you can’t take a second to turn around and make sure?!?
I’m leaving soon. I’m ready to get there and start my night. I’m hoping for a good night because I’m starting to get that discouraged/defeated feeling and I don’t like it. It’s nice that I have a normal amount of stress now and everything but I need to make more than this.
This world is a very scary, uncertain place and there’s monsters all around us. I would rather someone be a helicopter parent than a parent that doesn’t care and doesn’t think bad things can happen to their children. As soon as you think like that, a nightmare is going to happen. I think it’s better to be skeptical and question everything. I think that’s why my best friend and I get along so well. We don’t trust a fucking thing. I question everything and everyone and don’t trust anything.
My daughter is cold so she turned off the AC. I’m hot and glad to be getting in the car soon. I hope she feels better by tomorrow though because we need some things from the store.
I like that I’m in control of my life, my time, my money, and my diet. I like that I get to decide everything for myself and my child. I don’t answer to anyone and I don’t have anyone talking down to me. I like this life and no one will take that from me. I wear makeup everyday and brush my teeth every night. I’ve recently started using whitening strips to deal with stain. I think my teeth are a bit whiter but I’m going to take a couple days break because I don’t want my teeth to become sensitive. I definitely take pride in my appearance now.
For the first time in a long time I can honestly say I’m happy. I like my life and everything that’s going on. I don’t have to take shit from anyone or feel like I have to shrink myself down. I think about that saying, “never water yourself down because they can’t handle you at 100 proof” and I think about that everyday. I’m definitely getting my groove back. This weight loss thing is awesome and my best friend has told me she’s never seen me this thin. I can honestly say my preference in men has changed too.
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