j20 in idea barrages

How can you write a wizard tournament and not call it SUMMONERSLAM? That’s a missed trick, for sure.

Found out there’s a Chicago “pizza” chain called Lou Malnati’s and they want you to believe that’s an actual person’s name, so they can hide how they’re a front for the Illuminati in plain sight. Trying to get the masses to confuse bread lasagna for pizza, for nefarious reasons.

Look, yes, Nickelback was and is terrible, but their genre limited the pain they could inflict on the human public. Matchbox-20 hurt so many more through the medium of the weakest flabbiest soft rock, which reached so many more people to wound their souls through bad music.

A pasta sauce brand that ironically calls itself “Jarred Pasta Sauce” and their mascot is named Jared Pastasauce.

A pay-what-you-can-afford Indian restaurant called NAAN NEGOTIABLE.

Free band name: HOSTILE TWERK ENVIRONMENT.

When anyone says “trad” I know what they’re really saying is “I want all the advantages of a past that no longer exists, without any of that past’s burdens or responsibility.”

I don’t know if it’s funnier to replace someone’s chap stick with glue stick or to replace someone’s glue stick with chap stick but, like, we can experiment to determine this quandary’s true answer.