June is one of my favorite months. When I was a kid, obviously, it was all about summer vacation. But as an adult I can still appreciate it. The weathers nice, it’s usually not completely disgusting and humid yet, and usually (especially now that we live here) I have access to a pool. And obviously beach trips ❤️
I’m currently sitting out back. The birds are chirping and the weathers nice, but not nice enough to go swimming. I’m getting waxed today at 2.45 and I’m supposed to chat with my BFF Cassie tonight so it should be a nice chill Monday.
I got a lot of stuff done so far today. I slept like shit last night too, so it feels good to get shit done. I mailed out my saliva swab for the BRCA test, I organized/paid some bills and stuff that have come in so far- that insurance money has been SUCH a huge blessing. I’m honestly so freaking grateful insurance is one thing I usually never cheaped out on. I left a message for my gyno to call me back.
I saw her maybe a month before I was diagnosed and it was a new patient appointment. We didn’t even do a pap. We discussed IUDs, primarily. Obviously I won’t be doing a hormonal IUD now, which is what she initially recommended. The thing is, I have such awful menstrual cycles and random pain in my lady parts (cramping, bleeding when I’m nowhere near my period or even ovulating, etc) I have cramps that are so bad my back and legs hurt. I would imagine that since my cancer is hormone driven there’s gotta be some connection, right?
I meet with my plastic surgeon next week and then I have to make a decision about treatment. The closer I get to it the more nervous I get. I also feel like the closer I get to having to make a decision the more bad days I seem to have.
But, as the title says, this is a whole new month. I am going to do my best NOT to get in my head today. I’m also going to do my damndest to get through the day without crying. I owe it to myself to have a good week and feel as good as I can. I just hate waking up lately and letting that heaviness dictate my whole day, and lately that seems to be the pattern. I don’t want that for myself every day. Sometimes I need to wake up and think “I’m really lucky” instead of “oh yeah, I have cancer. Fuck.”
Sometimes I need to take a step back and remember that I’m a Queen. Not a Princess.
Happy Monday 😘
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