I don’t often get to do mirror gazing
But I love it.
Yesterday I was digging out the basement and having a merry time. Lately, I have felt this inexplicable joy and deep satisfaction doing simple physical work. I noticed it a few weeks ago, but really, it’s been pervasive enough to get me gardening every single day and volunteering to help put up a fence at a friends place. Which I did. And loved.
Anywho. I was shoveling hard-pack clay sand mix out of the basement room into buckets to take up. When DH said I needed to stop because he had a “better way”.
“What if I’m really enjoying this way?” I asked.
“Move.” Is all he said. And so I got out of the way and he used a jackhammer to break up the hard pack. I watched as junks of hard clay fell in heaps all over the clean little space I’d just dug out.
I felt… Sad. I went upstairs and I felt agitation. A lot of energy was moving. I felt weird. Like I should be doing something. I recall this discomfort from childhood when I was shamed for not helping my parents when they were working to do something.
I accepted the feeling, and felt the urge. Then I spontaneously grabbed my things for mirror gazing and sat down in front of the mirror. I felt myself drop into the deepness right away. I felt and saw differently than the last time I’d had a chance to mirror gaze.
I saw light. I saw the backdrop waving and the room became darker, surreal, and that familiar sense of a power filled the room making my hair stand up. I saw the familiar halo of the aura with more intensity and a larger emphasis on the back of the neck. It glowed there like it did with Joel. I felt a confirmation that I had not imagined seeing this particular configuration on Joel. Even after seeing consistently multiple times, I wonder if things are real. I saw a light mask over the top portion of the mirror face. This was very different to the past; I had only seen dark masks which were like a maleable head mask that appeared as different faces-different people.
The mirror eyes glowed large with a new ferocity. They glinted. There was a dancing light in them and the fierce intensity was something I’d never seen before. I was powerfully reminded of the silver discs I had seen. I wanted to know more about the silver discs. I asked to see more. The aura halo around my head glowed white-gold, then Violet. Intense violet light appeared over my left shoulder. Then to the top right of my head. As I gazed, focusing on the color, the violet color infused the face in the mirror.
I became interested in the color(s). And I tried to imagine the color changing with my intent. I ran through the different colors - some seeming to appear readily like cerulean blue and turquoise, and other not at all like red or orange, and yellow. Curiously, when I got to green, I lapsed into mental imagery. I saw dream visions of the beautiful green of New spring grass, felt the love of the plants. I was there in that vision until my daughter came in and I had to end my session.
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