My mother picked me up Saturday morning so we could go shopping for plants. When I got into the car, she was crying. She was embarrassed about it. It didn’t come out of nowhere, but she couldn’t control it. It’s hard to see my mother like that. She is a very strong and stubborn woman. But she is also human.
She finally went and saw somebody about her shoulder. She is constantly rolling her shoulder, it’s hard to witness it at times because it looks like parkinsons or something. It’s something structural. She is seeing a physiotherapist for it, finally. The day before she picked me up, her physio broke the news to her that they can only do so much for her. He was very defeated as he explained to her that her scoliosis has her shoulder blade rubbing on her ribs. There is no recourse.
She was crying because she is grieving her health. Grief only ends one way. I told her. Acceptance. It’s good to know where you are going, at least. She was looking at her siblings and their health. My aunt and uncle are doing horribly. Her friends are already dying. She is going to be 60 in two years. She is also grieving her youth.
My mother is also seeing a therapist, which is long overdue. She is a stubborn woman, and it took a long time to get her open to it. She believes there are people worse off and she doesn’t want to take up space.
That same day, Saturday, my roommate was homesick from work. I was disappointed. I really wanted a day home alone. I get that today, yay me. But she was really really sick. I was worried. She was throwing up all day and night. Sunday was her birthday. We had plans to go to Thermea. An outdoor thermal spa. I rescheduled it for us. She is doing a lot better now. She was literally crawling through the apartment at times.
Tea
On Sunday, since my day opened up, I finally met up with Ras. He invited his boyfriend along. They’re from the Ukraine. I talked to them both on Grindr. Eventually moved on to IG. I didn’t know I was talking to Alex. They don’t show their faces on Grindr. They’re looking for a threesome, I know the score. Ras is so hot I can’t stand it… I don’t know how to explain all of this.
Separately, on Grindr, I was talking to both of them. I didn’t know there was a relation between them at all. Ras is the one procuring a third. I didn’t know what his bf looked like, but Ras is super sexy. Alex, I was trying to be friends with on Grindr. The last thing he said was, “We can be friends, but there will be no sexual aspects.” I’m like, kbet. That’s not what I wanted. I added Ras on Instagram a while ago. Then finally added his boyfriend, whose account is private. He’s a classy guy. Then I saw his torso pic on his IG, but it had his face in it. That threw me for a loop because I didn’t know I was talking to him on Grindr. Anyway, Ras and I send each other naughty things once and awhile. Alex likes good conversation.
So I walked into the coffee shop to meet them. The way they looked at me made my heart melt. Just smitten. We had a nice little visit. It was cut short because they forgot about a car appointment. Their accents are so cute. They’re very much men. Alex is one year younger than me. Ras is 13 years younger than me. He’s so sexy, did I say that yet? Tall Slavic blonde. Alex is super handsome. Very much a gentleman. Smoking hot body. Ras and I are very attracted to each other, probably because of what we send each other online. He confessed to me that he kept trying to check out my package when we were out for coffee. I kept checking out his ass. We are definitely going to have some fun, I hope. What I would love out of this is some bros to hang out with.
Yesterday, I did something out of character. An older gent keeps offering me a free massage. It’s something he does. It’s one of those massages in the end… I went for it.
Anyway, I have today off. No roommate around. I can breathe. I’m going to try to lock in and take care of things. I’m still talking to Jerry. If we don’t recall, that’s ok. He’s the fresh out of the closet case. He told me the score that he is not interested in dating or hooking up, which is just fine. I’m so glad we are still talking because I really do want male friends. Our convos get wild, which is great. We are aiming to go for a drink soon, I hope.
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