I woke up very early today. 5:45 to be exact. Rick had gotten up to use the bathroom, and put his REALLY warm hand on my back, and that woke me. I made the mistake of putting my glasses on to look at my phone for the time. Then I decided to use the bathroom. Then I decided to just get up. If I put my glasses on, all bets are off for sleeping in.
I switch on the kettle to make coffee. I have a morning routine- I make coffee, and then play catch up on social media. Interesting things I saw this morning- a collection of short clips of President Obama being kind to others… that one made me weep for how far the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction of kindness.
Another post was from a woman who had been married for 38 years. She worked 60 hours a week. He was disabled but refused to apply for disability because it would take too much time. He refused to help around the house, because his wife just “did it better” than he could. It was years of this.
She had been asking him to move dead tree branches onto a burn pile for WEEKS, and he kept saying the job would be “easier” with two people. After YEARS of working her tail off to keep them afloat, along with having to do EVERYTHING when she got home, she had finally had enough. She explained to him that their life as is was not sustainable, and she needed him to help out more. She printed out the disability application, he complained again about it taking too long to fill out. He asked her to do it for him. She refused and reiterated that there needed to be some changes, as she could not continue with the status quo.
The next day, while she was at work, he committed suicide. His last act of abuse and weaponized incompetence. Some men (NOT all) would rather KILL THEMSELVES than help their partner. Let’s not even get me going on the whole, “Alpine Divorce” thing I KEEP hearing about… where men take their unsuspecting wives hiking, then either leave them in the wilderness to DIE, or actually kill them out there where no one will find them. Instead of just divorcing and letting their wives move on, men will KILL THEIR WIVES rather than get therapy.
The last social media thing that got me in the feels this morning was a Facebook memory. It was from 8 years ago. A picture of a fish tank with a teeny tiny baby starfish in it. It was the fish tank in the cancer center that my mom received treatment in. Every visit, she would have to sit by the tank, and would be enthralled by the starfish.
This particular post was from our last visit there before she died. How NOT EVEN REMOTELY ready to die my mom was. How she knew she’d probably never see that baby starfish again. And she didn’t. I don’t think I will ever get over that.
Anyway… Not a lot planned today. We discussed taking bins down to our new storage in the carport. FINALLY taking the Christmas tree down, and put it in a large yard bag, so it can go into the storage space as well. I still have laundry to put away, a week later. I might just rustle up the leftovers for dinner, but I may buck that, and make cabbage soup. I definitely want to maybe make biscuits or sandwich bread and homemade mayo.
I hope my body cooperates. Maybe we can take a short walk.
Everyone ready for Monday?
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