And yet not. Ecstatic. But a little more grounded.
Right after I wrote about my woes of embodiment, I feel so here that it’s almost surreal.
It’s the level of surrealism I felt during the fist times I cleared the sky. Is this real? Am I imagining it? This seems too easy- too of to be true
And yet- it isn’t. It’s more true than all of the other bullshit that goes on in life. And in fact all that bullshit is just a distraction from this.
I have found my Human Design to be a tool to give me personal to be. It names the aspects of myself that I knew, but didn’t have any ability to give definition to myself. No context. No contrast. No boundary of where some particular aspect ended or even began.
Particularly, gate 46. “If Gate 46 is active in your chart, you carry the frequency of serendipity, the ability to end up exactly where you need to be through surrender, embodiment, and trust in the physical experience of being alive.” https://humandesignhd.com/pages/gate-46-human-design?_pos=1&_sid=8724565a6&_ss=r
What’s interesting about this gate is that it’s totally unconscious in my chart. So I am not aware of my embodiment, so to speak. I may just experience the effects of embodiment. Which is self-love or, on the shadow side, self-loathing.
It’s so interesting how my entire concept of my own performance has changed almost overnight as a result of realizing that I have consistent access to embodiment. Access, but still a choice - the choice of light or shadow side of embodiment. And that totally explains why my childhood was so hellish. My childhood experience was hellish. Mostly, I think, from receiving and feeling all of my parents’ emotional and motivational vitriol towards me, or themselves, or whatever. Being an open sacral and open solar plexus being, I have to be extremely choosy about who I allow my self to be around. I can only allow into my life excellent people who genuinely want the best for me and of me; otherwise I absorb their attitude and energy of hate, shame, guilt, or anything that is not in alignment.
My heart feels so full.
Loading comments...