"And so I write this letter..." in Him

I’ve been debating whether or not to have this conversation with you via getting it started in a text or by email (like when we “broke up” the first time-ha) or during our next face to face, to which this may overshadow that personal beef re: the guy in the roller skates and the Superman gear.

As you know, I tend to think heavily. Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it just being logical, sometimes it’s just thoughts. So here we go:

So. You’re getting married. Yay…

You mentioned once that I would forget about you. This simple phrase spun my mind out of control. I thought, “OMG he’s gonna drop me like a wormy apple!” and thus gave birth to my Spotify playlist “The Dark Liquor Show.” I was litterally laying on the floor in my living room, listening to music, depressing the hell out of myself. I was blogging about the inevitable end of us, etc. etc (I do, indeed, have a book dedicated to you called “Him”). It’s been downright comical. Thing is, I already know it’s gonna happen. I’ve been gearing up for this, I just don’t know when it will occur and I’m trying to stave off as much pain as possible.

After having rehearsed this in my head about a million times, I don’t even know what I wanna say anymore. It was something along the lines of: in order for you to live a guilt free life, what we are has to stop after you and ##### (you don’t have to address her as SHE or HER to me. I know she exists) get married. The way I see it, we will have to cut ties all together. This is me and you. If we stay friends, you know as well as I know, we will slip up. It’s who we are. It’s us, our history, our chemistry. You know I love you. I know you got some kind of love for me, but let’s not kid ourselves. If I’m way off base, please correct me, but I don’t think I am. Truth be told, I think you will most likely forget about me first.

At any rate, I just want to say that when the time comes, just say goodbye. Call, text, email, just let me know. I will comply gracefully. Despite how I feel for you, I’m happy you’re happy. I am genuinely happy for you.

So until our next face to face, unless you get married between now and then, we’ll talk.

Take care, Love…