a17 in idea barrages

A hamburger eating competition should always be a double elimination tournament.

After being widowed by three rich old men, she took on the nickname Mysterious Circumstances, which they all died under.

Why say “fighting over scraps” when you can say “violent auction”?

There was a point in history where we could’ve had Raymond Burr and George Hamilton re-enact the Aaron Burr - Alexander Hamilton duel, but we wasted this blessing and it is gone now. Gone away forever.

The only reason to not name your e-sports team “The Chicago Cubes” is full-on cowardice. No, you don’t have to be from Chicago, that makes it even BETTER.

You think you’re horny but you’re really just lonely. And also horny.

The rap battle tournament quickly descended into a wild diss array.

“Being offensive” is just the lazy idiot’s dull mimicry of being challenging.