Dear God,
I listened to my father and stayed home today. My back still hurts, but my legs feel better. The pain in my shoulders has greatly decreased, and I no longer have headaches. I truly believe that resting indoors all day has helped. Thank You for the healing You are giving me.
This morning, I followed my mother’s advice and had a full breakfast. I made banana oatmeal, but it didn’t turn out well, so I only ate a few spoonfuls. I scrambled two eggs and ate about half. I also had a few bites of cereal and finished with some watermelon.
For an early dinner, I had soup and salad, but I felt sick afterward—I think the soup was too heavy. I ate all of the salad but only half of the soup.
Later tonight, I had cabbage and rice. It was delicious—especially because my mom made it. I feel very blessed for the food I had today. I even had the energy to take my vitamins for the first time in a long time. I plan to continue tomorrow.
This morning, I noticed a lot of blood in the toilet. I already had my period two weeks ago, but almost immediately after my massage yesterday, I began bleeding again. I’ve been on the Depo shot for over five years and typically don’t get periods, so having two in one month concerns me. I felt fatigued, but thankfully not much bloating or cramping.
I believe it’s time to follow the advice I’ve been given and schedule a checkup. I don’t feel that anything is seriously wrong, but I want proper documentation from my gynecologist. I also want to see a general doctor, especially because of the odor in my apartment. When I returned from a walk this evening, it smelled like a hamster cage. The exterminator previously mentioned a strong rodent odor both in my unit and around the complex.
Thank You for always helping me. Today, I found a neighbor’s phone in my car. He plans to pay for my oil change on Thursday as a thank-you. He probably wants to spend time together, but I’ve already told him I’m not interested. He’s much older. When I told my friend Debra he was probably around 68, she said, “That’s my age!” I realized my mistake—I had just called him “old” without thinking. Still, I know what I want, and I don’t see myself with someone significantly older. Even in the past, I felt that way.
It’s already midnight. I should be sleeping, but I’m waiting for the tub to fill. I’ve taken multiple baths today, and one more feels like it will fully relax my body.
Talking to You always brings me peace.
Thank You for revealing to me that I need to move. When I went to view another unit, I saw a young woman rushing out. She told me that every time she opened her door, rats ran across the floor. She had moved in just the day before and was already leaving because she has an infant and couldn’t stay in those conditions.
That moment gave me confirmation. If management responds, I now have proof—multiple tenants are dealing with mice, and one person moved out within 48 hours. It’s upsetting to think they would try to place me in another infested unit.
God, You see me walking through my apartment, turning on lights and stomping to scare the rodents away. I’ve already found droppings—one in my bedroom and one on my bathroom counter. It’s unsettling, and I pray for Your continued protection.
Maybe this is Your way of guiding me to move closer to my parents. I hesitate because I’ve built a routine here—my grocery store, cleaners, and other places—but I know there are benefits. My parents can help me get settled there, and I’ll be closer to family, good food, and support. Maybe, in time, I’ll grow to like it.
Right now, I feel restless, even while trying to relax. Living in a place with rodents keeps me on edge. People suggest getting a cat, but I’d rather solve the root problem—and I have allergies anyway. The only animals I dream of are my horses—Thunder, Bolt, and Honey.
One step at a time.
First, I need approval to move after sending certified mail requesting to break my lease without penalty. I may also need to explore legal options if they refuse. It all feels overwhelming, and I ask for Your strength.
Tomorrow, I’ll find out when I return to work. I pray that life moves in a positive direction. I have so many goals—uploading music, investing in promotion, moving into a clean home, getting new furniture, trading in my car. My to-do list feels endless, but I’m trying to prioritize.
Please restore my energy, clarity, and peace of mind so I can move forward with strength.
I know I’m strong, but sometimes it feels like chaos follows me. I remind myself that life includes both good and bad—that this is part of being human.
I wonder if true, lasting bliss exists. So many joyful moments in life seem temporary—celebrations, achievements, milestones. Over time, they fade, and life continues. Maybe peace isn’t about constant bliss, but about stability, faith, and purpose through it all.
I pray that the dreams I’ve carried since I was young will come to pass in the right time and in the right way.
Thank You for listening. I love You.
Amen.
P.S. I pray for anyone reading this—that they never give up on their dreams, no matter their age. Don’t let doubt or negativity hold you back. Trust God, stay faithful, and allow Him to guide your steps.
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