Yesterday, I worked all day until I knew it was time to go to the post office- an errand I do every Monday. Moments before we leave the house, I get a call form the sheriff’s office that my documents are ready to pick up. So I can save a trip and get them now, on the post office trip.
This weekend a friend came to visit. She told me that the day before, a mutual friend/aquaintance had had her baby at 2.42am. I was like. Oh, my son was born in that same day 6 years ago at 2.42pm.
That day was the Saturn-Neptune conjunction.
I was born on the Saturn-Uranus conjunction.
I ponder and wonder why all these things happen around me.
This morning I woke up for the first time in weeks it seems like without that tired head fog. Last night I tried breathing into my back. My lower back has been in pain for about as long. The pain has really started to affect me daily so, I looked up some simple techniques. I slept all night-yes had vivid and odd dreams but when do I not- and woke up ready to get up and meditate as I have before. The sunrise this morning was so beautiful. It was purple, pink, violet, blue and orange.
I’m afraid this picture is rather lame and does not so it any justice at all.
I asked about money. I received some interesting ideas. I feel resistance to starting another business. But I also feel drawn toward it inexorably. I feel a lack of energy to start one. When I started them before, I had that energy. Now, I do not. I feel fear, though, that if I don’t do it now, I will have even less energy in the future.
I mean, I could do it. But I want to whine and complain about it. And I don’t want to be a whiny complaining pity me party. I want to work out of love and duty to and for my own passions and abilities.
I have been delving into my Human Design. It, like my astrology, is a little challenging. But I can see it.
I’m a 5/1 splenic Projector. That’s why I’m so weird. Lol
I really get it, though; that moment when I can deliver advise or guidance and it really lands; I see that moment of a-hah on the other person’s face, and I am on top of the world. I’m seen through that process. Whereas any other time, I do not take much if any stock in anything anyone says to me. They don’t know-cannotknow-me, cannot even apprehend me through their own projections, and therefore anything they say to me is inaccurate. Mostly, when I speak with someone, I quickly discern through what sort of lense or film they are projecting their energy, and I know what sort of energy they expect, which is also exactly what they will experience. And so, I see people, but they do not see me.
So, I am not seen by anyone, ever, I am totally unrecognized for who and what I am except in that one magical moment of delivering a bit of guidance in service to them. And oh my God, my whole life makes sense now. The bitterness. The rejection of people. But it’s just because I hadn’t found the right Strategy to interact with people.
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