This is not a ‘I’m divorcing him gotta find my bad bitch’ post.
This is a ‘I am happily married I hope we do die together like ‘The Notebook’ post.’
Freaking hell, marriage is hard. I think it is hard because its the same damn person day after freaking day. The physical aspect aspect doesn’t apply to me. I look at my husband and think, damn, I want that. I bite my lip, have indecent thoughts, and hear in my head his moans of when I suck his....well you get the picture. But I gotta say, I don’t get tired of it. If anything, its a challenge: can I still make him sound like that?
The answer is yes. :)
Moving on, I don’t have the secrets to a long and happy marriage, but I think 20 years together, 10 married gives me some grounds for wisdom eh? First of is sex. No, not communication or trust, but sex. Reason being because sex is a huge part of it eh? You cannot deny this fact. Sex for men is mostly physical, for women mental and emotional. So if you’re not having sex you’re not fulfilling this part, so then the rest is moot. Second is, of course, trust and communication. Let’s continue with sex. You need to be able to say, “More like that,” nor, “not so much, but maybe if you add more spit.” If you’re able to communicate in the most intimate of acts, you should be able to communicate in anything else.
You need to able to tell that person the darkest secret in your soul, and trust that they’ll be there. I’ve gotten off to a sex dream of my dad, I want to know what it feels like to penetrate a man, etc. You need to be able to speak the things you are not able to to this person. Even if you actually don’t. My husband…damn, he’s seen some shit. With my crazy ass depression and anxiety, he’s been through it, and you know what? He’s still here, wanting me, loving me, and supporting me.
Has it been hard? Fuck yeah, it has. Sometimes, too hard, but you know what? I never once thought: divorce. I refuse. Now this is exempting all those DV and other shitty conditions. But there are a lot of women out there who divorce a guy because quote…whatever. Work at it bitch. If he ain’t hurting your or the kids, if he’s providing for you, and if he’s willing, work through it. I don’t know individual situations right? But what I do know, is that too many couples call it quits because they wont’ stick it out.
I prayed for a boyfriend for almost 5 years in my young age. I don’t believe in soul mates. I’ll die on that hill, but I do believe in God. And I also believe in Him having a plan for me. I know it my bones that my husband was in those plans. Not soul mates, but divinely intended. He has his flaws, but damn if he doesn’t think about me and the kids, provide for us, protect us, and keep those two things priority in his mind, even when my womanly mind doesn’t.
I thank God for my husband, for the 20 years I’ve had with this man. And I and I can only hope that I am so lucky to have another 10, 20, or 50 years with this man on this Earth.
I love you babe. Joo, homosexicle, hunnybunz, you are the only blessing I really asked for and got. Thank you for our two kids, our life together, and all of the freaking wonderful orgasms you have given me. Man, do you know how to fuck. Cheers to our 20th year together.
<3
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