My emotions have been all over the place today. My brain felt cloudy and scattered for the first few hours of the day. I was trying to get some reading done, but I couldn’t concentrate on the words. It was like a visual version of when someone is talking to you and their words go in one ear and out the other. I’m pretty sure I retained maybe 10 percent of what I read over the course of about 2 hours. Maybe I felt that way because I hadn’t eaten anything. Who knows. After finally eating, I settled into a buzz of anxiety and eventually into a deep depression. The depression only lasted a couple of hours, but it was really uncomfortable.
Other than the emotional garbage, I’ve been doing the usual things. I applied for a few jobs in addition to reading and eating. That’s really all there is to say. There was an alert on my phone from Linked In about a company who wanted to interview me. Initially, I assumed it was in response to a job application, but it turned out to be what has the appearance of a pyramid scheme. To me, at least. This is a company that assigns you a mentor to help you learn how to sell insurance policies. You then sell insurance policies and make money on commissions, and if you sign up another agent you get 20% of their commissions. I signed up for the interview for tomorrow (it’s a group interview, surprise surprise) but I don’t know if I’ll show up for it or not.
At the height of my depressed state I almost applied for unemployment but ended up continuing to apply for jobs instead. I’m feeling more ‘normal’ now, but am still considering applying for that tomorrow. Honestly, I can’t think of a good reason to put that off until I’m in a more precarious financial state than I’m already in. I need some sort of relief.
The rest of the day I’ll probably take it easy and play some Tetris and a JRPG, have dinner, hang out with the birds while having Twitch playing on my phone. Tomorrow I plan to do my applications first, do my reading second after breakfast, maybe apply for unemployment, and watch some curling. I’m really looking forward to watching that. I want to write more on my novel in progress, but I don’t think I can concentrate on that until I have a job lined up. We’ll see. I’d rather not put that off.
I have some chili beans cooking in the crock pot right now. They are smelling good. As usual, I’ll have them with rice. My last batch of beans was a Latin-style flavor. This one is just chili powder, cumin, coriander, smoked paprika, garlic and onion powder, and salt. I bloomed the spices with olive oil, mixed in the soaked beans to coat them all, and added water. I didn’t have any tomato product of any sort, unfortunately. Hopefully they will turn out alright. The Latin-style beans were perfectly good both with tomatoes and without. I might add some Worcestershire sauce after I bowl up.
I stopped watching or reading the news a month or two before the last US presidential election and have not read or watched it since. It’s been over a year now. My only news source is streamers on Twitch, who only occasionally talk about it. I imagine that social media is a huge news source for a lot of people. But I never got into social media back when it was a new thing, in the days of Myspace and early days of Facebook. I just never knew what to post, so I deleted my accounts after about a month of opening them. One time I tried Twitter, but it seemed like such a toxic environment there, and once again I didn’t know what to post, so that got deleted too. :)
I hope everyone has a great day.
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