I really hate cooking.
I follow recipes, I know how to follow instructions, and yes my food comes out edible, but its not great you know? And for that I feel less than. I cook about 3 times a week. I work 12 hour shifts the other days. Myself and my family depend on that food that I make because of leftovers for work lunch, and so that we do not spend so much on take out. Not only that, but after while take out starts to suck. The food is not that great.
Not only that, but I really look for the reaction of those who eat my food. It makes me feel good. Like a kid in class when the teacher says, “Great work!” I want that. I need that to feel like I accomplished something. Especially when its something that another person is going to use or consume. I am just an insecure kid at heart with no self esteem. I have very little of it.
But, yeah. The one light of my life in that aspect is my son. He tells me he loves my cooking. Actually prefers it to the grandmas. :) So that makes me feel really good. They really do need to bring back Home Ec in high school. They need to focus more on cooking, budgeting, and those kinds of life skills. How to do laundry. Tips and tricks like line dry this, use the dryer for that. If want steel skillets to be non stick then wait for them to heat up, drop of bead of water in it. If it rolls around then its ready to cook, if it flattens out and evaporates it needs more time.
Cooking is life skill. Not a male/female skill. You need it to survive. However, no matter how much you try at it, you can still be…mediocre. And since its something I have to do almost daily, being made to feel inadequate on a daily basis sucks. I almost dread that time of day. Hate is starting to be the more accurate term.
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