I feel like I am going through a growth spurt at 40! I’m clumsy, and I don’t know my own strength. I keep breaking things and getting hurt. I had to buy a new coat because I grew out of my last one. I wrote about that one. Now I can barely fit any of my nice clothes. I was trying to figure out what to wear tonight, but I’m fat now, so my options were limited. Ok, I’m not fat. I’ve been going to the gym for about two years now, and I guess I can’t doubt that it is starting to show. I bought those clothes 30lbs ago. It is expensive clothes that I do not fit in anymore. I’m getting upset just thinking about it. I’ve been donating some of my clothes to one of my kids in my program. He’s 12! So I had the figure of a 12-year-old boy?
I had a nice birthday dinner. I invited my favourite people. We went to the restaurant that my roommate keeps recommending to me. It’s the East India Company, and my south asian friends always tell me that it’s the only place that tastes like home. We were all blown away by how good the food was. Even the curry haters. The house bought me a tequila shot, so much for my gut health lol. It’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, and even though I had 4 plates full, I am currently craving more.
I went to the casino after with Andy and his wife (he is my coordinator, I’m just going to use his name now). I hadn’t been there since before con-19. I could have left $100 up 5 minutes into the evening, but I left $60 in the hole. Classic. I always leave defeated.
My cough is back. I saw it coming a mile away. I went to a pipe ceremony on Thursday. I stood in the doorway. I thought it would help. It’s not too bad; my throat just feels dry and inflamed.
There is someone that I have been chatting with, whom I think is trying to date me. I feel bad, like I am leading him on. We hadn’t spoken in decades. It was a blast from the past when he added me on FB. I think we used to talk on MSN or mySpace. He is like the drag grandmother of almost everyone here. I just want more gay friends.
Anyway, I did invite Jonah, my crush, but he had his brother’s birthday. Maybe he will invite me to his next month… or nah. Aquarius Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, in case we needed to know lol. (I have a Cap Sun, Scorp Moon, Taurus Rising)
Blah, tomorrow is the big day. I have to go down and register for those courses. FML. My anxiety has been going through it.
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