“Lack of energy is what put a lid on your memory,” don Juan said. “When you have sufficient energy, your memory will work fine.”
“Don Juan’s argument was that I had two choices. One was to follow mankind’s rationales And be faced with a predicament; my experience would tell me that other worlds exist, but my reason would say that such worlds do not and cannot exist. The other choice was to follow the old sorcerers rationales, in which case I would automatically accept the existence of other worlds, and my greed alone would make my assemblage point hold on to the position that creates those worlds. The result would be another kind of predicament: that of having to move physically into vision like realms, driven by expectations of power and gain.”
I’ve been up since 2 am. I’ve been up 24 or 36 hours before, even 48 a couple of times. I feel a different sort of feeling. It’s not dissimilar to being sleepy but relaxed in an alert way. A dozing energy. An energy that allows one to relax and be aware. Like sleeping with one eye open. Only it’s not out of fear. It’s out of some deep internal recognition.
A recognition that I have historically gotten crabby or otherwise emotionally dysregulated to the extreme when tired permeates me with an awareness of my unconditional good natured feeling right now. I feel magnanimous. Generous. Understanding and powerful.
I recognize too, my shortfalls. I feel recognition and no judgements. I fog out when I try to focus on something for more than a minute. But jee. That’s pretty good for someone just starting and up since 2 am. It’s now 635. , or really 835 in the time zone I woke up in.
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