I’m an aquarian, doesn’t mean I’m an asshole.
I’ve had a hellova time. Reading my chart, back in the day.... felt really depressing. My sun is square to my ascendent. I’ve got four (4) yes, FOUR, 29 degree placements. While some say there is some positive to the 29th degree, most agree that it is everything detrimental about the placement focused in that degree.
LOL
My Sun is my IC, or nadir. Yep. It sure is. My nadir is one of those 29 degree placements. I am characterized to experience my inner self as that shitty “ne’er do good”; full of shame for my very existence. And there is no letting up on that.
And yet, I found my way. Finally. I got a sense of what I’m supposed to be doing. Where all of that shit was supposed to be motivating me toward. And, that is very nice. It is. And yet.
I feel resentment. And the lightness of liberation. I recognize the magic and still feel irritated that I’m in this game. I feel derisive. That I would want to or agree to play along in these silly shenanigans. I recognize the magic. That I can move between worlds and meet Gods.
That self-loathing shame, I cognize, is a story I have yet to integrate; there is much more work to be done. Sometimes, I feel to weary of it. Like it has been here enough. Enough is enough, already. And yet, I am reluctant. Have I gleaned everything this lesson has to teach? My intellect says yes. Obviously. There is nothing holding me back. Nothing left to learn. Then why doesn’t my feeling reflect that? Oh, it’s that Libra Moon. Coming back to kick my ass. Just when I’m sure. Just when I am certain, that Libra Moon is all; oh, hey. now is the time to feel some doubt, skepticism, and paranoia.. Cue the sabotage! Bahahaha
Story of my life, friends. WHY do I have to have ALL the horrid things? Well. I don’t have ALL of them. I have some favorable aspects, too. But. Definitely, the most frequent aspect in my chart is Square. By a lot.
And yet, there are no victims. No tyrants. No punished, and no punisher. But sometimes it does really seem like my Higher Self is a sick fuck. lol
And I find it humorous.
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