nov 12 in idea barrages

My personal favorite synedoche, a figure of speech in which a part is made to represent the whole or vice versa, like when people call all vampires “Draculas”, is when I pretend every lead singer’s last name is the band’s name. Bill Sublime, Scott Creed, David Lee Vanhalen, etc.

A giant circular iron medieval torture device used by the Catholic Church to punish people for learning math called “The Ferrous Wheel”.

Whenever someone yells “Kobe!” when throwing something, I think about his sexual assault victim, who saw no justice because of his influence and how dying young seems to have erased his crime from the public consciousness. The hell doesn’t end for her. It sucks so very badly.

A rectangular stepped tower made out of antiquated candy bars. A Zagnut ziggurat that makes the Spice Girls go “Ziggurat, ahhhhh!”

The key to navigating YouTube in early April is math. Subtract the “days ago” to find out if it was posted on April 1st. If it was, ignore it, it will be a painfully unfunny attempt at going viral with a really lame April Fools Day prank. Just wipe that whole day out your queue.

J. Jonah Jameson screams to Parker that he wants “SPIDERS OF PICTURE MAN!” and his vision starts to go blurry. The editor of the Daily Bugle is having a minor stroke. “SPIDERS OF PICTURE MAN FOR THE DAILY BULGE! FRONT COVER OF BULGE!”

Every time I see Kanye West I think about how if there was even one person in his life that wasn’t a pay-rolled yesman, he’d be in a mental health facility getting the psychiatric treatment he desperately needs, but because he’s rich, people have to treat him like a wacky genius.

Brain status: mashing up “Champs Elysees” with “Raspberry Beret”.